the end of 2004

2004 isn't a fantastic year for me.
i've been through many turns of events; good and bad. in fact, i would say it's a bit too much for me to swallow.

yes, i've also a plentiful of joys but i've also gotten, i believe, more disappointments this year.
i've been unhappy too much,
i've been moody too often;
i've been having too many 'if only', way too many.
i've been too prideful.

things i've learnt in 2004?

how things can happen is really astonishing. how quickly the things can happen is even more astonishing.

i've also learnt a little more of others, and little more of myself through the eyes of others.

i've never made new year resoltuions. i've always doubted my ability to accomplish them.
besides, i've seen too many people not being able to stick by their resolutions. so, what's the point?

but looking back on 2004, ill make my first resolution for the new year ever:
to stay happier longer, more often.

sounds easy.. quite easy.

Merry Christmas people!

>>>MERRY CHRISTMAS PEOPLE!

i've found the fool-proof method to be clean amidst walking through the foam-spraying crowd during countdown parties.
walk beside a triad-looking person, or as long as the person looks pissed when he doesn't smile.

Desmond & i walked through Orchard Road twice before/during/after the crossover to Christmas, and we were clean when we got back to the car. very clean.

*

too much durians, fried food, chocolates and some wine; too little water and sleep.. and now i'm sick.

i feel hot, my head is thumping, my throat hurts, i can't breathe and nothing taste on my tongue.
it's only the second day of Christmas and ive less than a week for the party through the New Year.

dammit.

a 2nd opinion on a-year-plus relationship

i used to think a year plus into a relationship is nothing worth exclaiming about;
now, it suddenly seems long and almost-unachievable (for me).

what an irony.

there were repetitive unsuccessful attempts at relationships.
however strongly they felt like things would work out, however much regrets i had, they just didn't work out.

i haven't liked anyone new for 3 months, and i can see it counting for a long while.

when feelings for someone you've been attached to for a long while rebound/remain, it just doesn't give as much excitement or novelty.

i miss the feeling of gushing over someone.
i miss waiting for that nick to appear online on msn.
i miss the anticipation for his message, or call.
i miss the anticipation of meeting him.
and, i totally miss the feeling of mutual liking,
especially the discovery of it.

3 months only; and i'm gasping.

i had almost forgotten how it feels not to like anyone at any point of time.

*

here i am gasping over my mundane(or the lack of) lovelife, rumours has it that i'm seeing my good friend. and looks like confirming that is really just a rumour is a bad idea; we're now suspected of being an underground item.

安靜 周杰倫 (3lines edited)

只剩下鋼琴陪我談了一天
睡著的大提琴
安靜的舊舊的
我想你已表現的非常明白
我懂我也知道
你沒有捨不得
你說你也會難過我不相信
牽著你陪著 我也只是曾經

你要我說多難堪
我根本不想分開
為什麼還要我用微笑來帶過
我沒有這種天份
不用擔心的太多
我會一直好好過
你已經遠遠離開
我也會慢慢走開
為什麼我連分開都遷就著你
我真的沒有天份

安靜的沒這麼快
我會學著放棄你
是因為我太愛你

the end of 5 weeks

>>>THE END OF 5 WEEKS

just like that, it's the end of my holiday; school reopens tomorrow.
5 weeks reduced from 9 weeks, this is my shortest holiday through November & December.

this time round, there ain't much shopping, chilling/ slacking at cafes, roaming City Hall, Orchard Road & JB.

but, alright.. at least i've things to look back on this holiday.
the India visit (i emphasize: Taj Mahal is beautiful), my new place (i'm more or less settled in), plenty of stay-ins.
and, i'm (quite) satisfied to have one 'checked' on my place-to-visit checklist for this holidays.

still, i wished the holidays were longer.

how pathetic to have to spend Christmas Eve & New Year's Eve in school. first time ever.
to make things worse, the new timetable sucks.

i totally love this:

At the end of the day, I don't think it is hard to believe;
That we went our separate ways even before we reached the end of the road.
(copyrights of Nazri)

it makes hell lot of sense to me.