a 2nd opinion on a-year-plus relationship

i used to think a year plus into a relationship is nothing worth exclaiming about;
now, it suddenly seems long and almost-unachievable (for me).

what an irony.

there were repetitive unsuccessful attempts at relationships.
however strongly they felt like things would work out, however much regrets i had, they just didn't work out.

i haven't liked anyone new for 3 months, and i can see it counting for a long while.

when feelings for someone you've been attached to for a long while rebound/remain, it just doesn't give as much excitement or novelty.

i miss the feeling of gushing over someone.
i miss waiting for that nick to appear online on msn.
i miss the anticipation for his message, or call.
i miss the anticipation of meeting him.
and, i totally miss the feeling of mutual liking,
especially the discovery of it.

3 months only; and i'm gasping.

i had almost forgotten how it feels not to like anyone at any point of time.

*

here i am gasping over my mundane(or the lack of) lovelife, rumours has it that i'm seeing my good friend. and looks like confirming that is really just a rumour is a bad idea; we're now suspected of being an underground item.