LONG OVERDUE TAG

While going through Naz's old entries, I came across this quiz that he was tagged to do in September. In the last question, he mentioned my name so here I am, finally doing it.

Three names you go by
I only use Sharon.

Three screen names you have had
1. Toilet bo. Many many years ago. I don't know why man, shit.
2. Sharon
3. Saint

Three parts of your heritage
1. My dad is Peranakan but Chinese and Hakka by registration. Apparently you have to give a dialect when you register your race as Chinese; I don't know why Hakka. So anyway my dad, who can't understand Mandarin, don't understand/ know anything Hakka too. Neither do I know Hakka and now you know why my Mandarin is bad.
2. My Chinese surname is Wang but it is actually Huang. My Mandarin-illiterate grandparents got someone to register my dad's Chinese name and the person got it wrong.
3. My mum is Hokkien.

Three things that scare you
1. Cockroaches
2. Rats
3. Getting cheated by a boyfriend

Three of your everyday essentials
1. My handphone
2. My eyebrow pencil
3. Water. Had no water at all the day before and I'm down with a bad throat now.

Three things you are wearing right now
1. Burberrys t-shirt
2. Brandless beach shorts
3. Hairband

Three of your favourite bands or artistes
1. Mariah Carey
2. I like Jay Chou's songs
I'm not particular about the singer la, as long as their songs are nice.

Three of your favourite songs
For a long time, Burn by Usher and I Don't Wanna Know by Mario Winans.
Currently, Jay Chou's Hei Se Mao Yi.

Three things you want in a relationship
1. Freedom
2. Absolute trust
3. I miss the lovey-dovey-so-comfortable-with-each-other feeling.

Two truths and a lie
1. I love chocolates.
2. I love cakes.
3. I love coffee.

Three physical aspects about the opposite sex that appeal to you
1. Nice double eyelids eyes
2. High nose bridge
3. Muscular chest

Three of your favourite hobbies
1. Watching HK dramas
2. Chilling over drinks
3. At the moment, shopping alone

Three things you want to do badly right now
1. Finding someone to fulfil my HK-Macau-Shenzhen trip with me
2. Watch Rome (starting in 2hrs)
3. Sleep

Three careers you are considering
1. In the PR industry
Actually I really don't feel like working yet.

Three places you want to go on vacation
1. Vietnam; Ho Chi Minh City.
2. Hk-Macau-Shenzhen
3. Cambodia-Myanmar-Laos

Three kids name you like
1. Danielle
2. Xavier
3. Jadon

Three things you want to do before you die
1. Having travelled enough
2. Tell my family members I love them.
3. Have a happy family.

Three ways you are stereotypically a boy
1. Cringe at mushy words
2. I love war and action flicks, over romantic love stories any time.
3. I usually defend my girlfriend's boyfriends in their quarrels.

Three ways you are stereotypically a girl
1. I can't can't resist bags.
2. I like buying shoes.
3. My PMS hits me bad. Evidently.

Three female celeb crushes
I can only think of Angelina Jolie. Only after Mr and Mrs Smith.

Three male celeb crushes
1. RAYMOND LAM, especially in period dramas.
2. Andy Lau
3. On and off, Hideaki Takizawa.

Three people you would like to see take this quiz
Anyone is fine.

I NEED IT PROPER

I have been single for almost 15 months, and counting. To see friends around me happily attached, both in old and new relationships, is taking its toll on me. I miss being in a relationship.

For the last 13 months, none of the opportunites were strong enough to make me commit. After the last relationship, the idea of commitment and the fear of another short relationship devoid me of all interest in relationships.

Quite fortunately, during these 13 months, I have been very much in touch with my romantic inclinations. I had/ have almost-normal-proper relationships, with the freedom of singlehood but there is just this difference, a difference that can't be covered somehow. The (re)experience of being in a no-commitments romantic engagement really sucks after a while.

I hate it and it's depressing to know that it just can't happen proper, even when I want it. I suspect that deep down, I am actually hesistant of really wanting it to happen.

The last proper relationship I had was good to a certain extent but it ended abruptly with rashness and regrets. It could have been better, happier and definitely longer.

Tonight, it was very comforting to know that the break up affected the ex in almost the same way as it did/ does to me. The conversation tonight was more in-depth. I realised things I never thought I would, I found answers to my long-kept questions, I admitted to him things I would never have, and we both acknowledged that the improper closure can finally be sealed. These, however at the same time, brought my regrets up to a whole new level.

MY ENDEARMENT

My beloved father.

I admit, my dad is not the most admirable person or man in my life. And he is definitely not the most perfect father or husband but he is one man who loves his family tonnes & tonnes & tonnes.

My dad is one of the nicest person in the world- I have never heard him said anything mean/sarcastic/racist/selfish.
He, who is always immaculately dressed, is the one who taught me manners and etiquettes.
He is the person who loves me the most, ever. He is my loving father who calls me almost daily just to ask, "What are you doing, darling?"

My dad's love for me shows when he warns me "not to walk behind buses in case they reverse", "not to chase after buses; I rather you turn up late" and "don't ever get onto a bike; tell Desmond to take mum's car instead".
His love for me shows whenever he tells me to "take care" before hanging up.
His love for me shows in his eyes, his expressions, his face and his actions everytime he speaks of the fond memories of me when I was young.
His love for me is so blatant amongst his sisters and friends that everytime we meet up, they would tell me "Your daddy really loves you very much."

I love the way my dad addresses me "darling" or "sayang" with much endearment.
I love his insistance on my goodbye kisses everytime he drops me off anywhere.

I love my dad so much that I cried because I missed him so much when he was not around during our two weeks holiday trip to London.
I love him so much that I cried when I saw him sick on the hospital bed years back. He is the person whom I've cried for the most.
I love him so much that it hurts me when he coughs badly or complains of a bad headache.
I love the way when he put me on his lap affectionately, when I was little, to "train" me to drive.
I love the way he laughs while watching the late-night HK dramas (no, he doesn't watch anymore).
I love the way he cuddles me whenever I sit by his side watching TV.
I love the way he is so delighted whenever I stay up for his late returns.

When I was one month old, my dad scolded his older sister-in-law who fell off her chair while carrying me (I was not hurt at all; my aunt was).
When I was young, my Peranakan dad taught me Malay phrases to speak to the Malay vendors at the coffee shops. (Unfortunately, I have returned them to him.) On several occasions, I acted as a (bad) Mandarin-English translator between others and my dad.

During my secondary school days, he saw my teachers on several occasions behind my mum's back for disciplinary purposes.
I was always well-shield by my dad from my mum's physical discipline. The rare times he lectures or beats me, he would knock on my door afterwards to apologise. His principle for discplining my brother & I: Never hit them on the face. Hitting once and that's it; dont overdo it.
He rushes me to the hospitals in a panic whenever my gastric pains get so bad.
He willingly ferries me home on most times I ask, no matter how busy, far or inconvenient.
He trusts me with my words- although he knows that the bad scratches on my arms were caused by a bike fall, he cajoles me by believing my insistance that they were caused by a bad fall.

I feel lousy for the times I took my dad for granted, for the times I was rude to him, for the times I refused to pick up his calls, for the times when I haven't been understanding to him and for the many times that I sided with my mum. As much as I do not treat him with the due respect he deserves, my dad is, in every aspect, the most tolerant to me.

I love you, my beloved dad. I love you very much.