6 MONTHS

the impression of you stays, albeit your image get vaguer with each passing day.

days. weeks. months.. it's been almost 6 months now.

GOSSIPS

Gossip: Rumor or talk of a personal, sensational, or intimate nature.

as a stereotype, girls gossip and guys do not.

between girls, topics are usually criticisms/envious talks about another girls' assets or looks, or raving about guys.
but mostly, topics are harmless. like, who-is-seeing-who and what-this-other-girl-is/was-up-to.

and though guys usually say they do not gossip, from what i've heard enough, they gossip about their (wonderful)ability in bed and others' inability, girls' assets and their ability in bed.
mostly, ego-istic and sexual topics.

correct me; it is interesting to know.

this continual discreet yet in denial gossiping is less innocent, if you ask me.

yes, some girls talk about their guys' sexuality too but though the topics are along the same line, somehow the girls are generally less offensive. perhaps cos we are generally less vulgar in their words, in this aspect especially; explicit details are left out, leaving plenty for individual's imagination.

at times, gossips kill.

that piece of gossip is arousing my curiousity.

AN APPRECIATION SHOUT-OUT

im comforted by the well-wishes by my friends, upon reading my recent entries or my nick on msn.

but i'm alright, really. i'm not upset or saddened or going through any states of depressions.
i guess i just have a slight preference for pessimism (over optimism) in what i read and type.

for one, yes, there was this longing to see him. there were blog entries and nicks about him. there were walks down memory lane; i thought about him a fair bit. and there was some over-sensitivity at work.
but it ends there, when i know i shouldn't hold on to what im perceived to have regretted.

for the other one, yes, there were constant talks about him. there was a fear of losing what i have (or don't have).
but things between us are just a tad complicated; its neither a we-have-no-choice nor a sad arrangment. we chose this, and are fine with how things are currently.

so i'm alright, really.

BOREDOM KICKS IN

i miss the bikes. i miss the cars. i miss roundings.
i miss suppers.
i miss the night breeze.
i miss facing the waters.
i miss quietness on streets.
i miss wearing caps, jackets, shorts and slippers together.
i miss hanging out til the yawns.

i miss doing these things in the wee hours of the nights.

yet, i'm just too unobliging, full of excuses, choosy and lazy.

RELATIONSHIPS

is a relationship that is peaceful and fun-loving, or one that is fraught with quarrels and disagreements better?
the former being a stable relationship, the former a strong one, i believe at first thought, most of us somehow wish for a peaceful relationship over a quarrelsome one.

the truth is, the rough relationship may actually be better.
why? because quarrels and disagreements give the partners a chance to go through obstacles together, and this does foster understanding and thus, bonding. it is only through these that enable them to handle possible future bigger crisis together.

however, whether or not the relationship is strong enough in the first place to last through any of those obstacles is another story.

this, i believe, any one who has experience in a relationship already knows.
but how many of us, when faced with such situations, give up almost immediately and secretly wish for the simpler relationship- the one that is peaceful?

a really simple analogy but i like it because of its realisticity.

this topic was in relation to media law tutorial today.
Ms Peters wondered if Singapore can survive crisis since we're currently well-protected because of our half-controlled press.

her relationship analogy made me think about two particular relationships i had.

one was sticky which means much time for each other and inevitably, a fair share of disagreements; the other was the complete opposite.

i was closer to the ex who went through shit with me, my feelings for him were stronger, i was far too comfortable with the same him, and those feelings lasted a lot longer.

we remained close after the break-up, and we're still close now.. the opposite from the other guy.

so, somehow, i do prefer disarrayed relationships.

"Reminiscing adds to our grief."

i think the phrase is very accurate.

maybe a couple of months back, i could relate to it only too well.
these days, reminscing no longer adds grief.
after all, there ain't really much for me to feel sad about anymore.

to me, reminiscing has always been related to negativity, and memories seemed to relate more to positivity.
i learnt that xin's opinions of the two words are directly opposite.

it's interesting how people view things so very differently.