NONCHALANCE

as my fatigue was going up another level, i had to express my irritation with certain people and their nonchalance.

the reply i got from him: "actually, being nonchalant is bad but choosing easy & favourable moments to be gungho is worse."

to reinforce both our thinkings: being nonchalant, yet still think that you've contributed enough (or more than enough) is the worst.