the melodrama of my life

Dear God, I am really only a weak and simple girl.

2010-04-25T20:36:00.001+08:00

TThe year has just passed its first quarter but many things have happened.

The biggest change for this year for my family and myself is, I'm getting married. To someone I've known for a few days short of 10 months now. I was never a believer of The One but this guy changed my thoughts on this. He has quickly made me realised that he is what I'm looking for.

This guy is going to be my husband, someone who is, hopefully, gonna be by my side for the next half of my life. Someone who is gonna be my pillar of strength, support and life. I am happy but I fear too. The fear of adultery, the fear of an unhappy marriage, the fear of being hurt. Perhaps its marital jitters. And I believe he is feeling it too.

The recent departure of my two dear cousins for further studies in Melbourne and New York is a change bigger than I thought it would be. My extended family has been particularly close since I was young cos of the closeness of my mum and her siblings share. So it is sad to see them leave as Saturday gatherings at home is no longer the same. It is sad because there would be no random lunches or desserts or movies or Wii or guitar heroes as a "full group". It is sad because we can no longer watch TVB dramas from 9am to 9pm. It is sad because we can no longer sit down in a group and just talk nonsense. It is particularly sad when I hear their loneliness when I visit them or through their blogs.

The third major change has got to be the passing of my dear aunt. It was sudden, almost tragic if you know the build up and it was full of pain and regrets as she slipped into death in a state of sedation. The weeks prior to her death was a constant rollercoaster of optimism and negativity for all of us. She left without telling us and her family her last words, she left without completing her knitting, she left without seeing her new place done up, she left without seeing both her daughters off at the airport, she left without seeing her son enter poly, she left without seeing any of her children happily in love, she left without me telling her personally I'm getting married.

Her sickness and death gave my mum such a big heartache, it hurt me. I think I almost fell into depression that week in NYC. I was worried about my aunt before I left, I was worried about her when I was there 19 hours later. I hated my job at that point, I hated that I had to be on the other side of the world when everyone could be there beside my aunt on the (unexpected) last night. I missed home like never before. For that few days, I keep worrying that what if I know she was going or gone yet I cldn't go back. The crying, want to be alone and constant worrying was really driving me to depression.

The news that she is gone just moments before I was checking out left me in a trance. I cldn't believe it was real; it felt surreal. I could only hope my mum is well.

With her passing, I realised I am extremely terrified of witnessing more deaths of loved ones. I know deaths are inevitable but I firmly conclude that I'm too weak to witness any more. Although my aunt is still young, I cannot help but think that "it has reached their generation"; she is already the second in their generation to leave. I worried the day I witness the death of my mum.

I told my mum that our family has been witnessing death once every 5 years, this being the third one, and when she asked me who I think will be next, we both looked at my grandma with an extremely heavy heart. This is so worrying.

With the combination of pain at home and the need to complete my assignments, I've been really stressed up. There have been so many days when I feel like hiding from everyone and not doing anything. I guess perhaps this is the reason why I'm writing today too.

But I thank God for Kelvin. He has this magical ability of making me forget the unhappiness (for a short moment) and make me feel comforted, very comforted. So in times like this, who can blame me for my increased need for him and possessiveness towards him? I've grown to be deeply emotionally dependent on him, something foreign to me as I've been a good controller of my feelings.

Also this year, through many events, I realised I might have found the calling of God's work in me - I want to help people, in particular the old and/ or weak. Kel thinks I'm way too emotionally weak for this "job", and I agree. It is still premature to talk about my next course of "work" at this moment considering my relatively-young age and the need for survival and starting a family (read: $).

Apart from the new house in June and wedding in October, I really hope I won't experience any more dramatic changes in my life this year.

Dear God, I thank you for your works but I am really only a weak and simple girl these days.

What's next?

2008-10-02T14:59:00.001+08:00

After slightly more than 2 years into my first job, the realisation of a need to find for a more stable and permanant (at least something I can do even after I've a family) job.

My current job surely gives me more than enough to spend, rest, see and free time but I fear dependency on these is gonna make me suffer in future.

After all, my expenditures has manifold to an all new greater level and the list of have-been places has been stagnant ever since I've been trained for a new aircraft fleet which means I only do certain routes now for the past half year (read: alternate New York & L.A every month).

It doesn't help that I'm not a fan of America.

I've been a boring, homely girl who has been selective of whom I go out with and who is extremely lazy to get out of the house for the past year or more. Good friends, please ask me out.

Some business plans with the boyfriend has been in talks for months now but we really don't have the time to realise them until either of us quit the airline but how, then, can we sustain the much input of a new business?

Tentative plans to start studying at possibly SIM with Naz next year is probably the first step for me to get out of my job when I get hold of the degree but I'm, honestly, so damn bored and reluctant of studying.

Perhaps I need to follow Michelle's footsteps and get to know very rich men's son so I can laze around at home with bimbo stuff yet continue building my empire of apparels and the oh-so-addictive Chanels.

The only time I go with my heart, I end up feeling miserble

2008-03-11T10:41:00.006+08:00

With most of my friends still lovey dovey with their few-years boyfriends & a couple already married, I'm quite ashamed that I'm still at a changing-boyfriend stage.

Depressingly, the new Him & I had already gone through many many fights. No denial that there're many many countless happy times but with the heartaches I go through daily these months, I no longer know if I'm cut out to be a girlfriend at all.

Even though I love him to bits.

I would like to call my tolerance towards all these & my desire to have a lasting relationship, maturity.

Bimbo in the making

2008-02-14T16:41:00.005+08:00

The best part of my job is being paid to visit countries that I've been dying to go, get familiar with streets like Champs-Élysées, Oxford St and Times Square, lone stay in good hotel rooms, adding load that home cant offer to my exploding wardrobe, and to fly (holiday) on the best airline in the world for free once a year.

Let's not talk about my (self) satisfaction with the pay.

The downside of the job is my increased vanity.

My obsession with acrylic nails has led me to waste hours goggling "pretty acrylic nails", "bridal nail arts" and even using everyone's most important gadget to snap at pages in Japanese magazines. My hair has underwent different brands & shades of unnatural pigmentations as well as softening, reviving and moisturising products. And my eyelids have probably been covered with all shades of the rainbow before.

I hate to admit this but my life is turning meaningless.

& OMG, almost everyone I remember talking to before is now my collegue.

My strength now must be providing cities information. I think I must have forgotten how to write a proper press release.

With my improved people relations (read: talkative), I really must register myself for school and get out of this comfort, stagnant zone soon for something I think I will love doing (to be in the PR line is my ambition, if u guys still remember). I don't want to use my laptop primarily to search for "things to do in XXX", to watch DVDs when I'm awake together with Singapore in a foreign land and browsing Friendster (so what if I log in to Facebook only once a month?!)

With another friend tying the knot recently and hopefully soon a certain Ms Wu will too, I feel ashamed that I'm still stuck at a changing boyfriends phase. I really believe in karma. The curse of always telling others & yourself that your colleagues make the worst boyfriends has befallen on me.

I had wished I can maintain a long lasting relationship with the ex and maybe settling down at 24 but I guess I was too playful still.

Well, what matters now is The Boyfriend will be good.

Travelling is good

2007-10-20T20:03:00.000+08:00

A month ago, I booked a s$2100 ticket for my spoilt/lucky brother to travel on SIA's second newest aircraft type (777-300ER) to Paris. We spent only 2 days there and needless to say, he enjoyed Paris as much as me but I'm still smelling the debt of the ticket.

I just came back from Zurich, my second in two weeks and I'm proud to say I've covered quite a bit of Switzerland. Switzerland has nice scenery but it definitely is a boring place to stay in. It's fortunate I didn't go there on my 11-days long leave in Aug.

On my first trip, I visited beautiful Lucern where the shopping streets are similar to the Old Town in Zurich, over-rated Trummelbach Falls, quite nice Staubbach Falls and boring Interlaken.

And on the second, I covered awesome Rhein Falls which is now killing me to visit Niagara Falls, and can't-see-why-its-a-cultural-heritage site Bern the capital.

We wanted to travel another hour and a half to Geneva and Lausanne but we didn't have the time to. Well, at least the next time I'm rostered to the common Zurich, I know where to go. Interestingly, I haven't visited any of the mountains that Switzerland is famous for; a pity considering its the starting of winter now (less cold but beautiful enough).

I'm loving my current roster cos I managed to change away my flights to go on two holidays this month (Zurich and Taipei); I'm gonna be around for mum's & bro's birthday; I'm rostered to MILAN (finally something good) on the 4th, and if nothing goes wrong, I'll head to San Francisco and my favourite HK on the 10th.

I was initially hoping to visit Hokkaido or Hanoi and Sapa on my 4 free days but unfortunately, seems like it's the wrong season for Hokkaido and Hanoi too boring for my friend.

Michael was away in Brisbane for more than a week and we managed to catch up for a quickie before he is now gone again for more than a week.

A boyfriend busier than a cabin crew + a cabin crew girlfriend = lonesome relationship.

Cape Town lives up to her postcard pictures reputation

2007-08-26T21:50:00.001+08:00

Having been to Johannesburg & Cape Town, I've to say that South Africa is really scenic with nice clouds, sparse and clean. According to my tour guide, we can experience 2 seasons during winter- cold or rain in the mornings & nights, warmth & sun in the afternoons.

Interestingly, my tour guide was proud to repeat that S.Africa has the highest number of rape & Aids cases in the world. They even have a big centre to house the diseased people.
Table Mountain is known for its flat top, and its obvious from the bottom or from far but when up there, its like any other mountain.
Whale watching on Gordan's Bay is one of the sightseeing things to do but it's really not all that amazing.
Of cos, we wouldn't miss Cape of Good Hope, the most SW point of the African continent.
The frustrating thing about visiting that point was, the tour guides said to meet them at the top of the mountain in half an hour, or they can drive us up. Looking at the height of the hill, the young, active and act-smart majority of us decided to do the climb. To our horror, when we reached up the hill twenty mins later, we realised that the top they were refering to is on the next mountain. The lighthouse (our meeting point) was just an inch high from where we were, and we could not even see a trekking path or anyone at all! That was how far away we were. That feeling sucks, and there was no way we can turn back since the cars have left.
The 1 hour route was full of bumps, holes, non-stop swearing, very very scenic views and a call from a colleague making a ridiculous request of asking us to fucking run up.
To prove my point of how tedious the climb was: despite it being winter, we all removed our coats & when we reached the top, we were actually perspiring. I swear never to trek or hike again, especially not when I was in boots.
With seafood, some good red meat and wine, S.Africa is well-known for its wine and dine culture. Unfortunately for me, I don't take wine and seafood, and we didn't have a single steak meal so it was pure torturous for me.
Fyi, Fish&Co originated from S.Africa. It's called Ocean Basket there and is brought in by my ex-colleagues. Everything is the same, including the after mint sweets. Every restaurant in S.Africa serves mint sweets after meals, and that is the only country you can buy those sweets.

I might go back to S.Africa with my brother in summer for a Garden route tour where we'll do the apparently highest bungee jump and see what I saw in Johannesburg (safari) & Cape Town (scenic views).

My roster sucks again but for my coming third Paris, I'll bring the lucky brother there to visit the Eiffel Tower, Notre Dame Cathedral and shop til my pockets burn at Champs-Elysées.

The nervous Farena is gonna be wedded on the 9th (I'm excited to meet the poly friends whom I havent't seen in ages) so we had a hen party last night but to our disappointment, she only wanted a typical clubbing night without any of the scandalous things we had planned. Lots of cam-whoring and we made a saddening discovery- we're old. Gone were the days where we could remain on the dancefloor the entire night.

It's day 2 of my leave and it sucks that I've no where to go. It sucks further that the boyfriend is away for competition during my entire leave period!

London: I adore the GPS inventor

2007-08-05T17:56:00.000+08:00

Although I had too much (good) 15bucks-a-plate duck and char siew rice, was almost pickpocketed by some unskilled man (I actually felt his hand in my bag) and literally flew in the aircraft for the first time (scary shit), my last trip was the first time I was excited to go London on work.

5 of us (4 drivers)- Road trip to Stonehenge, Bath and Windsor
Vehicle- Rented Toyota GPS Prius

First stop, Stonehenge. The historyless stones that were barriered are really out-of-nowhere on a vast piece of land. They were not interesting so the fun remains in the how-the-hell-does-this-GPS-works and driving-at-150kmh-but-every-car-is-still-taking-over-us drive.

Anyone knows the speed limit in London?

Our second stop was Bath. Like Heidelberg & Rudeshiem in Germany, Bath is small beautiful old town, ideal for retirement. There was this really odd river with amazingly strong water current running over ‘steps’, with no obvious use or meaning or history behind it.

Anyone knows the purpose of this?

By the time we got to our final stop, Windsor, the castle was closed. So we didn’t manage to see the Queen and her family, and her famous Doll’s house. Anyone knows if the Queen actually lives there? Does she shuttle between Windsor and Buckingham Palace?

Anyway I think the 2 of the drivers who drove (not me) were pretty lousy at following instructions.
• We missed almost all the turns and exits, and Ms GPS has to lead us to the long countryside way with beautiful old houses.
• We confused Ms GPS by going round the roundabout and went to the opposite direction of her command.

But, she was smart and patient.
• Her commands went from ‘turn left on the third exit of the roundabout’ once to twice; at the exit, she had to say ‘turn left now’; and she will tell us to 'continue on the current road' whenever she senses that we were a bit unsure.
• Every time we go the wrong way, she would pause, sometimes the GPS hangs but all will be well again after some reorientation.

I’ve another London coming up on 5th Sept and I was all eager to give it away for a Copenhagen, Amsterdam or Zurich. Unfortunately, my impulsive shopping needs me to go back to London to settle some issues my new expensive bag has stirred up.

An update: My holiday plan to NYC is cancelled cos the flight(s) are all suddenly fully booked with a long waiting list. So is Barcelona, and Manchester and Athens. SQ making a hell lot of money! Looks like I might have to stay in Singapore.

Next up: scenic Cape town!

So its been more than half a year; and nothing much has changed.

2007-07-18T13:58:00.000+08:00

I almost fell into depression last week.

My bout of two-weeks-flu, which I got during the much-waited Macau-Shenzhen-Hk holiday, caused severe ear block/pain (an occupational health hazard almost all of us will go thru). With people scaring me with freak eardrums-bursting stories hours before my reporting, I had no choice but to take mc for the Amsterdam that I changed for and have been so dying to do.

After being utterly depressed because I gave an unknown colleague to see the windmills and red light district, I was called up for London. (I've another London at the end of July!!!)

The next time I was on ground, I was futher devastated by my new roster.
Another London, fuck! Lost count of how many times I've been to M&S and the hugeass Topshop in Oxford Circus.
Since 4-sector flights are too long for me and London pays the best amongst European stations, I shouldn't be lamenting. But, I'm certain I'll be happier gulping Denmark beer, visiting Old Trafford, going to Mountains and clumbing up Acropolis. And, did I mention taking pictures of windmills and walking down the famous red light district? Crap.

WHO HAVE I OFFENDED IN THE PLANNING DEPARTMENT!?

My consolation is having khakis to visit Stonehenge and Windsor Castle during my next London. Another consolation is that at least I get good days off again. And I'll be back on the 8th Sep, just nice to attend Farena's wedding on the 9th.

Anyway I'm happy to visit Socks in Syd on Friday, visiting Table Mountain and looking at penguins in Cape Town soon, and holidaying in New York City next month. I'm gonna be at least 8k poorer because I'm paying for my precious brother's air tickets, shopping (God, help me), and everything else.

For those interested, spending S$1000 to travel to look at the pyramids is not worth it but spending twice or thrice the price to look at the fountain of trevi in Rome definitely is worth. Pisa is a very small town with only the leaning tower interesting; and Shenzhen looks even more developed than Shanghai.

Another update- I might be moving house (again) soon, which sucks after I'm so comfortable paying 4bucks max to taxi home from Orchard, drive home safely from no-thanks-for-yr-drinks-im-driving clubbing and paying expensively to taxi back from Changi.

My spending/ shopping abilities has gone up by 193757676869 notches since my last post, so I'm not sure how much will go to Salvation Army when I start to pack but it's gonna be hell lot of work.

PS:
Siang Yew, pls memorise the details in this post.
Jeannie, time to text me your blog add la.

I'M A SIMPLE GIRL THESE DAYS

2007-03-12T19:49:00.000+08:00

Seven months have flew by so quickly and the P beside my name is finally taken off. The privileges of being able to change flights and being less of a target to be picked on is now within grasp.

I just came back from the boring Ahmedabad, where the flight back made me lost my voice because of the extremely demanding, rude and irritating passengers.

My roster is still crap so I'm earning less, most times I still don't want to work, I keep getting sick (I just recovered from my flu, cough and fever then I caught a chill in Melbourne and before I can recover, my throat gave me problems in Ahmedamad. I'm now coughing) and the boyfriend's insensitivty is driving me nuts but trust me, life has been generally good these couple of months.

I'm on leave again this week and finally a holiday with my family this weekend.

I'm so not gonna want to go back to work next week.

9 WEEKS OF GOODs AND BADs

2006-11-15T23:59:00.000+08:00

Good

Four birthday celebrations this year with good food with the family, boy, girls and colleagues. The exact day was extended by four hours, thanks to the time difference between Dubai & Spore. Though I wasn't home, it was comforting with nice colleagues, chicken tikka, table soccer, drinks and an uplifted cake for a celebration on board the aircraft.
I've been lucky with my company outstation. Met Michelle twice and had new-found friend Carolyn for company twice.
The best part of my job- Joe got called up for my HKG flight (how can any best friends' luck beat that!?)! So it was fun til 4am with shopping, eating, squeezing my seven new shoes and some undergarments into my bag, bunking in together, "arguing" about switching off the room lights and having less than three hours of rest before the flight back.
The next best part of my job- to finally visit Socks in Sydney and eating the fabulous-much-heard-about chocolate mud cake.
The boyfriend & I are hoping to squeeze in a four days trip right after I touch down on Paris in two weeks time.
The relationshhip is getting quite fabulous, after a spade of downs.

Bad

Updated: Cannot meet Naz as often because of conflicting schedules. In fact, I haven't been able to meet up with most of my friends; I'm probably losing my social life soon.
I'm resigned to my fate of having possessive and restrictive boyfriends.
I believe I'm suffering for insomnia again.
I just came back from my worst flight. For 11 hours, I was picked on every single thing I did by the complex leader that I had to avoid him as much as I can in that small aircraft and then make a complain about him when I touch down (but I'm too nice and decided not to complain in the end). And the bloody hypocrite, who obviously doesn't want me to write him in, gave me a better-than-I-expected check report (though it's my worst to date) and I was finally treated with respect for the last hour.
So, you see, I believe that no one is lucky for long; all my bad things added up together and was delivered damn badly.

Unclassified

My roster is filled with repetitions but I can't grumble with off days on days I need and all weekends for the first two months at home.
The job has taken me to places I want to go. The money is not bad at all but at the end of the month, the bank account looks the same as before.
I'm still waiting for karma to befall- it has accumulated to a undescribable size now.
My trust in guys has dropped so damn drastically.

SO MANY CHANGES, AND MORE TO COME

2006-07-23T21:11:00.000+08:00

1. Learning lessons
Words can kill; and the selfishness and facade make people scary creatures.

Travelling really does broaden your horizon. You meet people, you learn lessons, you see/ try/ buy/ appreciate/ get rid/ understand/ experience things you sometimes can't at home.

2. Discoveries
PL grooms Singapore girls. I've seen (& heard) countless of seniors/ acquantainces around, from the ugly to the decent to the head prefect to the expected.

In every class that I'm in, we'll give people an impression/ something to talk about. For my current batch, its lack of the much-needed discipline. Tsk.

I love home.

3. The boyfriend
Extremely adorable that I can so marry him, if the already-befalling karma don't get any worse.

4. The job
Ok, granted it's not official work yet but out of the four flights so far, I've been dragging myself to work from the second onwards. I'll want to go home.

It's not really about the job cos I don't grumble when I'm up there doing my work; everyone I met so far has been nice. And I know that it is also not the being overseas. It really is about the leaving home, and the boyfriend who is still very unhappy/ upset/ reluctant.

Whoever says it's very boring in Auckland & Adelaide is unbelievable. I love the shopping. And, I shocked myself (& most people) by not buying much in HK and Shanghai.

Only one pathetic picture in Adelaide, and nothing in Shanghai. This picture is taken right after a 7 hours overnight flight. Haven't slept for more than 24hours because shopping is more important.

My Adelaide SNY was the most welcome cos it's the last and I'll have a 6 days break come Friday before the solos. To round it up, we sat in the cockpit during take-off and landing- what an experience!

5. Graduation on Thursday
I'm so not looking forward to it. 4 months has passed by too quickly. Of my interviews companions, Michelle (my only source of comfort for the first 2 months) is gone and Joanne still has two more months.

May God do miracles to our rosters for us to work together.

6. Phuket on Friday with the boyfriend
After 2 Bintans, 2 Bangkoks, this is exciting. But probably my last real overseas holiday for a while.

7. My Aug-Sept roster
Despite the allowances being not-too-high but the plenty of time at home = good for me and him.

8. Chance to meet the best friend in Brisbane
Hopefully we can rush to bump! I'll be taking the aircraft she took there back to Singapore; and as far as we can see, our coaches will bypass each other.. on the opposite direction. Dammit.

9. Adulthood in 2weeks
Expectedly, I'll be on board (coming home from Dubai) on that day. But thankfully, I touch down very early the next day, and I get a 4 days break over a PH before Hong Kong.

10. The dressing
It's changing gradually and the increase of new buys is driving my family and Michael crazy. A minimum of 4 buys every single week for months now is no joke at all.

I'm so gonna eat grass when I go to the fashion cities.

*

The boy will finally be back tomorrow. 8 days is far too long.

AND, THE PICTURES

2006-07-03T20:02:00.000+08:00

Pictures from Hong Kong
I really like Xu Lui Shan. Why did the branch in Singapore close down?!

Pictures from Auckland
It doesn't feel like 6 D Celsius man. Anyway the shopping is gooood; better than HK.

So this is where my home street name is probably adapted from! Super elegant and nice street.

Picture with the new Samsung Z540
Everyone should get a Samsung.
The dinner buffet at Amara Hotel's Element is pretty good.

WHAT MAKES ME HAPPY?

2006-07-02T18:28:00.000+08:00

Shopping. I'm suffering from compulsive shopping disorder again. I just added 14 pieces to my wardrobe nand a new mobile phone within 4days.
Making amendments to my clothes- dyeing, adding details, machine or hand alter. I have two "new" crops, a pair of jeans and three tops.
When people look right into my eyes and thank me sincerely.
When passengers call my name when they say their thank yous.
When Michael is so cheerful.
When Michael and I make fun of each other.
When Michael holds me in public.
Chocolates. Without a doubt.
Good buffets.

I'm a very happy girl this week.

FIRST SNY- HKG

2006-06-27T09:01:00.000+08:00

And so, my virgin work-trip to HKG was good.
In order to dress appropriately for Lan Kwai Fong on Friday night and a nice dinner on Saturday, Jeanette and I brought covered-front-kitten-heels. But before dinner on Saturday, our feet were killing us.

Fortunately, the flat shoes I bought came in handy. There were SO many cheap and nice shoes in Mongkok (comparable to the 199baht-drive-me-crazy shoes in BKK), but lessons learnt: no more cheap heels for me.

The boy is on his way to Malaysia for a 5 days competition. I'm gonna miss him dearly but at least this time I won't stay home and go bonkers; I better get used to this.

Auckland tomorrow, and back on Friday.

OH NO, ITS SHOES FETISH AGAIN

2006-06-20T19:44:00.000+08:00

After spoiling two shoes in less than a month, Mum and Grandma strongly insist that I stop buying cheap shoes. So, my new shopping resolutions:
1. Never to buy cheap shoes again.
2. Never buy fake leather.
3. Buy flats because of the nature of my job.

I happily dragged shopping-phobia Michael to shop on Saturday to buy a replacement pair for my white flats. And shit, I bought another pair of cheap shoes which is NOT white. Then, on Sunday, I bought three pairs of not-cheap heels. I hope hope hope Mum is wrong- that it's the way I walk that kills my shoes :(

*

Off to HK for the weekend!

THE PERFECT WEEKEND

2006-06-11T21:12:00.000+08:00

Mum has been nagging at my influx of clothes for the longest time. I threw some, gave some away but they are still piling up in her cupboard and in bro's. When my cupboard denied further entry, my bags had to migrate downstairs to make space. Now that even those drawers are filled, squashed, overloaded and has a closing problem, I just had to go Ikea.

Now, my new wardrobe is sitting nicely near the stairway (my room has no more space for storage) and my bar fridge is also happily sitting on a new and improvised drawer-cupboard for the alcohol.

The boy stayed over on Fri and spent the entire Sat doing miscellaneous stuff with/for the family and me, including fixing up the bloody wardrobe and I totally forgot to open the window for air. And, he lunched with the family again today. He is so damn good.

The next best thing; I just got my wonderful advanced 21st birthday present from Mummy. And, another two more are gonna be hand-picked by me. Yay; diamonds are women's best friends.

The third best thing, I managed to strike off every single thing on my To-Do list. This list has been accumulating for these two busy weeks!

Two days is waaayy too short. It's exams (again for the 10569687231th) for the next two days.

THIS BOY IS SPECIAL

2006-06-03T20:59:00.000+08:00

It's been way too long since I'm in a proper, decent relationship.

Though everything has been increasingly good, I suspect the duration will fall short of our expectations and talks. I'm keeping my fingers crossed; intertwined and nailed, if it helps.

Perhaps the obstacles are too hard for him to cross. Or perhaps, our overwhelming feelings are proving slightly detrimental. I'm falling too deep too soon.

I'm dreading August already.

*

I hope its just my PMS being triggered.

CHALET... & LOVE

2006-05-01T15:43:00.000+08:00

The chalet is so damn good. I'm in love.

His vanity at work, again.

He, focused on starting the fire.

ETC, & VIETNAM

2006-04-27T21:25:00.000+08:00

It has been some busy & very tiring weeks ever since training started. On the positive note, I'm glad that issue is proceeding better than expected and at the moment, we're happy.

The long weekend is coming up and I'm SO excited for that chalet. And, I think I'm gonna have a record-breaking number of chalets to attend this year.

I think I was so upset and overwhelmed over that issue that I didn't even blog about Vietnam!
The trip was good anyway. Ho Chi Minh City is generally boring with not much places to go (the shopping is SO disappointing) but once again, it is proven that the company makes a hell lot of difference! We spent nights doing stupid punishments after losing blackjack. Isk perspired like shit while Naz got away with almost no punishments.

There were not much pictures taken (on my camera) so here are a couple of pictures til I get the pictures from Isk & Bishe.

The disappointing markets- Ben Thanh and Binh Tay

Cao Dai Temple
Check out their symbol- it's a combi of 3 religions: Christianity, Buddhism and Confucious.

The girls

The guys

I love the architecture of this hotel

Cyclo with an ugly shade.

I pity the poor uncles who rode ISK & NAZ!

At Ho Chi Minh City's airport

MUST ALL GOOD THINGS COME TO AN END?

2006-04-07T20:00:00.000+08:00

It's been a horrendously tough week.

Once again, that dilemma is back to haunt me. Except that things are a little more complicated this time round. The actualisation of the expected outcome was harder than I thought. WAaaaayyy harder.

Giving up on either situations will cause a lot of heartache, a lot of regrets and a lot of disapproval from whichever other party. Without weighing the two, one is clearly more important but the other is probably the most important of its kind. Ever, in all these years.

I had to go with the former to breed harmony and it is game over with the other.

As I went for the fitting, I sensed nothing nothing nothing but omen and regrets.

Somehow, I still wish that I didn't try for the interview on that Saturday.

THE PAST WEEK

2006-03-20T23:59:00.000+08:00

It had been a tremendously good week except for some bad, upsetting, disappointing stress at the end of the week.

Anyway, pictures from the past week.

Uncle's wedding on Sunday
Yes, it was an expectedly more grand event than the engagement party last year.

Tea ceremony at home

At Raffles The Plaza

Cousins full-force (except one, and with the addition of a niece)

Jasmine, my eldest cousin

My brother, who drank too much, at the reception

At MOS with Joanne and friends on Wednesday

Bintan on Thursday & Friday
The oh-sooo-good company made everything excellent.

The special guy

Mayang Sari has beaaaauuutiful rooms.

*

I returned from the trip only to be informed that the number came out again. 2nd price! Never buy again, damn!

SO GIRLISH, QUITE DISGUSTING

2006-03-11T16:58:00.000+08:00

When my best friend and I hang out, I transform into such a girlish person I believe Naz will be disgusted to know.

Months back, we were actually envious of a random clubber's nice cleavage and we then proceed to buy ourselves a push up bra. This is with the fact that we already have ample assets. I still do not have the courage to wear that bra.

Yesterday Farena made her first step to join our vain-ness. We were suddenly fascinated with fake lashes and extensions and we proceed to get our virgin pair of falsies. We then did the most unglam and embarrasing thing last night- forcing them onto Joanne's poor eyes on some random stone chairs.

With what could possibly bond us, we need to do something about our fitness so we made an excellent decision - reapply for an Amore package. Hopefully in two weeks' time, we'll start on our awesome plan of weekly Wednesday gym/ steambath/ bitching session and then! Lug our tired asses (and big gym bag) down for some partying.

Farena dear, welcome to the club.

MY GREATEST DILEMMA

2006-03-07T19:50:00.000+08:00

I can't believe I'm actually considering something I would never have just one year earlier. Something everyone is discouraging me against.

Sometimes I wish my ego hasn't diminished this much.
Sometimes I wish I don't like him this much.

I think I'm half hoping for failure in this oh-so-far 6th round, like how I was for the 5th round.

LUCKY, BUT STILL NEED MORE

2006-03-04T22:10:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, Joanne and I planned to meet in a particular bus 24. The plan: she was to take a bus from her place and I will take the same bus from a further bus stop.

I reached my stop and still haven't received any message about the bus number plate from her so I called her: "What's the bus number?"
She, being her usual self: "24."
Me, rolling my eyes: "Of cos la! Plate number."
She: "Oh. XX9X." (X = can't hear)
Me: "Huh?"
She: "X9XX."
Me, giving up: "Ok. 2912 ah?"
She, finally loud & clear, & laughing: "3894* la! So different!" (*The number is not accurate, I can't remember already)

So, when I got onto the bus, despite my repeated explanation that she was soft and unclear, Joanne was still laughing in amusement and exclaimed that she must buy 4D for 2912.

This evening, I received a sms: Sharon Wong! 2912 starters today! Should have bought!

She was LAZY to get out to buy this morning, even though she thought of it when she woke up. Sister, you should have remembered lady luck has been with us all week lor!

Bloody hell. 500 bucks. I could have demanded a treat or a new shoe or bag! Wah, damn damn sian.

THE SERIES OF EVENTS

2006-03-04T19:31:00.000+08:00

I've, technically speaking, graduated.

My supervisor at CAAS says Jimmy and I have been good & staying back a lot for the Asian Aerospace 2006 and gave us Friday off. God showered his blessings and I had to get a half day leave on Thursday, so 12 noon on Thurday marked my graduation.

It was so heartwarming to receive the farewell gift from the 12-weeks-old colleagues, and very depressing to leave the office. Just like that, the good good internship placement with eye-opening experiences was over.

Despite some bad bad dilemma, God has been so so so good this week. Let's pray our good (unexpected) fortune continues. Hor, sisters?

WHEN A HOBBY BECOMES AN OBSESSION

2006-02-16T18:05:00.000+08:00

I like lone shopping so no one can deter my buys and I can take my own sweet time choosing my stuff (til the shops close), and walking from one end to the other end of Orchard Rd. The fact that I go past town from work to home, or that I live two MRT stations away from town definitely plays a big role.

I realised the hobby has become an obsession.

These days, I often feel the need/ urge to go shopping and would reject all appointments just to do that, alone. And yes, the weekly Sunday shopping with mum still carries on.

The convenient excuse of 'I need that' has become an overused one.

Spending hundreds on 16 tops, 3 cardigans, 2 dresses, 1 jacket, some accessories, a gown, 1 clutch and get this, only 2 shoes (at least the bags & shoes obsession has subsided, for the moment) in less than 6 weeks is a problem. I had to free up a drawer and a rack of older clothings to contain them but the next morning, mum brought over some clothes I left at her cupboard previously; clothes I never knew I owned. Now the cupboard and rack are filled.

I snigger when I read of Compulsive Shopping Behaviour but am now thinking if I'm near to that already.

At the moment, I need stop-shopping therapy. I need to start saving money for my holidays. Good friends, please dissuade me when I next say I like something.

NEXT STOP?

2006-02-08T15:48:00.000+08:00

I'm left with 4 and half weeks to the end of internship. It seems that it only gets better towards the end. Amidst plenty of mundane work, the occasional events and programmes has given me much insights of this PR line. I realised that my course of study is really relevant and is close to PR work. My interest in this line is affirmed.

After the busy busy busy week-long Asian Aerospace event in two weeks' time, it will mark the end of my internship.

My cousin once told me that if you do something for 40 days consecutively, it'll become a habit/ routine, and you'll start doing it naturally. After 8 weeks of work (this week), my longest working period ever and my first office job, I'm starting to think if I will feel lost after this. What a scary thought.

My initial thoughts of further studies have been shelved; I shall work first, following Ms Low's advice- we should work first, to gain experience and to know what you want to do/ study.

But, I know for sure, I will procrastinate working for a while; the thought of working full-time terrors me.

Well, at the moment, I shall look forward to the visible plans - the all-dressed-up-for wedding, Vietnam, (pending) trips to Europe and a couple other cities.

AN OVERVIEW

2006-01-24T11:30:00.000+08:00

This entry is dedicated to Naz who is asking me to update.

I bought my 4th shoe for the month. And, no bags! Erm ok, one clutch la.
I watched my first-ever basketball match on a court.
I'm getting used to working, sadly. Workload in the office is getting lesser but thank God for more events. It's quite irritating that one of my colleague is taking full advantage of an intern being an errand runner.
I dreamt I found my 7year old cat twice. I miss him.
Relationships are getting less complicated generally.
I'm having my second gastric attack in 2 months. I think my stomach is screwed to a new level.
Memoirs of a Geisha is finally out on the big screen (I love the book) - a lot of scenes excluded but its was ok overall.
I wanna go Chinatown before CNY.
My camera spoilt on me at the time I need it most.
My brother lost my 10-month old Creative Zen after spoiling it twice (& I was the one who sent it for repairs).
I haven't had any alcohol for 3weeks!
Someone is turning 27 in two days.

THE WELL-WISHES CONTRADICT WITH MY KARMA

2006-01-06T12:23:00.000+08:00

Reading the entry (titled, Walking away) of Little Miss Drinkalot brought a sense of familiarity. A couple of good friends and I had separate talks about relationships recently and it sucks to know that as the unfortunate minority of us grow older, we engaged in less-than-proper relationships (read: status-less). At 20, I already feel crappy experiencing enough such relationships. I can't bear to imagine how it feels at 30.

The most common well-wishes I received for Christmas 2005, and New Year 2006 is for me to find happiness. Relationship wise, that is. Tell me about it. With such unanimous wishes from my good, close friends, I reckon it appears that my love life is really in distress, so may my well-wishes materialise.

Over the past week, I had an encouraging confirmation from one party and a draining, overdue confirmation with another party simultaneously. Somehow, the latter confirmation was not as light-hearted and as weight lifting as I thought it would be; it was actually quite stressful and mind-boggling.

For as long as I believe in karma, I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it will not befall on me.

*

Looking for aviation and airport news, seeing air crews and travellers, roaming about the airport, seeing airplanes and hearing about airlines daily makes me wanna get done with work and go travel.

GOODBYE 2005

2005-12-30T14:17:00.000+08:00

Time has wizzed by so quickly this year; quicker than last year I would say.

This year marks my last year of being an under-21 and my last year as a poly student. Today marks the end of my 3rd week of attachment, my last day at work in 2005, early celebration for my best friend's 21st birthday and probably my last entry of the year.

Recalling my resolution for 2005, I said I want to stay happier longer. In retrospection, I realise that I have not exactly achieved that, sadly.

In a nutshell, 2005 led me through one long rollercoaster ride. The regret I had had tone down considerably with the one immense episode (more immense than one year of add ups), complications were blown up few folds especially as the year unfolds, there were several sad discoveries, my 7 year old cat went missing and there was a bad major event at home. On the memorable side, there were many good first times. I had an experience of the lifetime (I hope it will be the only time though), I partied the hardest and I reinforced a couple of friendships.

The biggest change in 2005: Internship began in early Dec after 3 academic sems this year (first ever). Come March, I'll embark my new phase of life- work or further studying straight after; I haven't decide. I know I ain't prepared for work yet. Not like attachment is still a drag now but I'm still looking forward to the end of it so I can holiday. First, Ho Chi Minh City.

Back to no more New Year resolutions. For 2006, I just hope for less complicated situations.

COMPLICATIONS

2005-12-03T15:37:00.000+08:00

One.
The improved actions caused immense guilt.

Two.
The realisation of unsuitability was soon accompanied by a uncomfortable scene.

Then the awakening came: make changes to feel better about the guilt.

But it is not easy (and very seflish) to totally disassociate and re-focus.

LONG OVERDUE TAG

2005-11-27T20:23:00.000+08:00

While going through Naz's old entries, I came across this quiz that he was tagged to do in September. In the last question, he mentioned my name so here I am, finally doing it.

Three names you go by
I only use Sharon.

Three screen names you have had
1. Toilet bo. Many many years ago. I don't know why man, shit.
2. Sharon
3. Saint

Three parts of your heritage
1. My dad is Peranakan but Chinese and Hakka by registration. Apparently you have to give a dialect when you register your race as Chinese; I don't know why Hakka. So anyway my dad, who can't understand Mandarin, don't understand/ know anything Hakka too. Neither do I know Hakka and now you know why my Mandarin is bad.
2. My Chinese surname is Wang but it is actually Huang. My Mandarin-illiterate grandparents got someone to register my dad's Chinese name and the person got it wrong.
3. My mum is Hokkien.

Three things that scare you
1. Cockroaches
2. Rats
3. Getting cheated by a boyfriend

Three of your everyday essentials
1. My handphone
2. My eyebrow pencil
3. Water. Had no water at all the day before and I'm down with a bad throat now.

Three things you are wearing right now
1. Burberrys t-shirt
2. Brandless beach shorts
3. Hairband

Three of your favourite bands or artistes
1. Mariah Carey
2. I like Jay Chou's songs
I'm not particular about the singer la, as long as their songs are nice.

Three of your favourite songs
For a long time, Burn by Usher and I Don't Wanna Know by Mario Winans.
Currently, Jay Chou's Hei Se Mao Yi.

Three things you want in a relationship
1. Freedom
2. Absolute trust
3. I miss the lovey-dovey-so-comfortable-with-each-other feeling.

Two truths and a lie
1. I love chocolates.
2. I love cakes.
3. I love coffee.

Three physical aspects about the opposite sex that appeal to you
1. Nice double eyelids eyes
2. High nose bridge
3. Muscular chest

Three of your favourite hobbies
1. Watching HK dramas
2. Chilling over drinks
3. At the moment, shopping alone

Three things you want to do badly right now
1. Finding someone to fulfil my HK-Macau-Shenzhen trip with me
2. Watch Rome (starting in 2hrs)
3. Sleep

Three careers you are considering
1. In the PR industry
Actually I really don't feel like working yet.

Three places you want to go on vacation
1. Vietnam; Ho Chi Minh City.
2. Hk-Macau-Shenzhen
3. Cambodia-Myanmar-Laos

Three kids name you like
1. Danielle
2. Xavier
3. Jadon

Three things you want to do before you die
1. Having travelled enough
2. Tell my family members I love them.
3. Have a happy family.

Three ways you are stereotypically a boy
1. Cringe at mushy words
2. I love war and action flicks, over romantic love stories any time.
3. I usually defend my girlfriend's boyfriends in their quarrels.

Three ways you are stereotypically a girl
1. I can't can't resist bags.
2. I like buying shoes.
3. My PMS hits me bad. Evidently.

Three female celeb crushes
I can only think of Angelina Jolie. Only after Mr and Mrs Smith.

Three male celeb crushes
1. RAYMOND LAM, especially in period dramas.
2. Andy Lau
3. On and off, Hideaki Takizawa.

Three people you would like to see take this quiz
Anyone is fine.

I NEED IT PROPER

2005-11-21T23:54:00.000+08:00

I have been single for almost 15 months, and counting. To see friends around me happily attached, both in old and new relationships, is taking its toll on me. I miss being in a relationship.

For the last 13 months, none of the opportunites were strong enough to make me commit. After the last relationship, the idea of commitment and the fear of another short relationship devoid me of all interest in relationships.

Quite fortunately, during these 13 months, I have been very much in touch with my romantic inclinations. I had/ have almost-normal-proper relationships, with the freedom of singlehood but there is just this difference, a difference that can't be covered somehow. The (re)experience of being in a no-commitments romantic engagement really sucks after a while.

I hate it and it's depressing to know that it just can't happen proper, even when I want it. I suspect that deep down, I am actually hesistant of really wanting it to happen.

The last proper relationship I had was good to a certain extent but it ended abruptly with rashness and regrets. It could have been better, happier and definitely longer.

Tonight, it was very comforting to know that the break up affected the ex in almost the same way as it did/ does to me. The conversation tonight was more in-depth. I realised things I never thought I would, I found answers to my long-kept questions, I admitted to him things I would never have, and we both acknowledged that the improper closure can finally be sealed. These, however at the same time, brought my regrets up to a whole new level.

MY ENDEARMENT

2005-11-05T06:12:00.000+08:00

My beloved father.

I admit, my dad is not the most admirable person or man in my life. And he is definitely not the most perfect father or husband but he is one man who loves his family tonnes & tonnes & tonnes.

My dad is one of the nicest person in the world- I have never heard him said anything mean/sarcastic/racist/selfish.
He, who is always immaculately dressed, is the one who taught me manners and etiquettes.
He is the person who loves me the most, ever. He is my loving father who calls me almost daily just to ask, "What are you doing, darling?"

My dad's love for me shows when he warns me "not to walk behind buses in case they reverse", "not to chase after buses; I rather you turn up late" and "don't ever get onto a bike; tell Desmond to take mum's car instead".
His love for me shows whenever he tells me to "take care" before hanging up.
His love for me shows in his eyes, his expressions, his face and his actions everytime he speaks of the fond memories of me when I was young.
His love for me is so blatant amongst his sisters and friends that everytime we meet up, they would tell me "Your daddy really loves you very much."

I love the way my dad addresses me "darling" or "sayang" with much endearment.
I love his insistance on my goodbye kisses everytime he drops me off anywhere.

I love my dad so much that I cried because I missed him so much when he was not around during our two weeks holiday trip to London.
I love him so much that I cried when I saw him sick on the hospital bed years back. He is the person whom I've cried for the most.
I love him so much that it hurts me when he coughs badly or complains of a bad headache.
I love the way when he put me on his lap affectionately, when I was little, to "train" me to drive.
I love the way he laughs while watching the late-night HK dramas (no, he doesn't watch anymore).
I love the way he cuddles me whenever I sit by his side watching TV.
I love the way he is so delighted whenever I stay up for his late returns.

When I was one month old, my dad scolded his older sister-in-law who fell off her chair while carrying me (I was not hurt at all; my aunt was).
When I was young, my Peranakan dad taught me Malay phrases to speak to the Malay vendors at the coffee shops. (Unfortunately, I have returned them to him.) On several occasions, I acted as a (bad) Mandarin-English translator between others and my dad.

During my secondary school days, he saw my teachers on several occasions behind my mum's back for disciplinary purposes.
I was always well-shield by my dad from my mum's physical discipline. The rare times he lectures or beats me, he would knock on my door afterwards to apologise. His principle for discplining my brother & I: Never hit them on the face. Hitting once and that's it; dont overdo it.
He rushes me to the hospitals in a panic whenever my gastric pains get so bad.
He willingly ferries me home on most times I ask, no matter how busy, far or inconvenient.
He trusts me with my words- although he knows that the bad scratches on my arms were caused by a bike fall, he cajoles me by believing my insistance that they were caused by a bad fall.

I feel lousy for the times I took my dad for granted, for the times I was rude to him, for the times I refused to pick up his calls, for the times when I haven't been understanding to him and for the many times that I sided with my mum. As much as I do not treat him with the due respect he deserves, my dad is, in every aspect, the most tolerant to me.

I love you, my beloved dad. I love you very much.

MY ADMIRATION

2005-10-23T16:20:00.000+08:00

My beloved mother; the woman I hold in my highest esteem, my role model, the most self-sacrificing person I've ever known, the most perfect woman in my world.

Perfect: Lacking nothing essential to the whole; complete of its nature or kind.

She trusts me a great deal: with her car, with her cards, with promises and most importantly, with my words.
She takes care of me whenever I'm down with my dreaded gastric flu.

She is financially independent, has her own opinions and stands up for herself.
She is the emotionally strongest woman I know.
She is sympathetic (read: mum's monkey).
She is understanding: she doesn't nag and she gives sufficient freedom.
She is child-like, bringing laughter to my cousins & I almost all the time.

She is good at handicrafts. I remember she used to do all my art pieces/ "red-packets-lanterns"/ origamis/ home econs sewings.
She is a great seamstress. She mended and alter countless of my clothes, she made a couple skirts for me from cloths. For her wedding dinner, she sewed her own evening gown.
She catches/ kills ANY insects (except spiders) whenever I need help with one.
She cooks well enough, though I havent tasted her cooking in yearsssss.
She is such a great mechanic- she fixes up any appliance: our sound system, theatre system, any TV/ DVD player/ SCV box/ computer. Yesterday, she carried a 29 inch TV (not an LCD, mind you) four levels up from the basement to replace the old one in my room. With the help of the maid; there were no guys at home and it was too heavy for me. Then, she did all the connections.

I love her so much that I need to talk or at least see her daily. No matter what time I get home on Friday night/ Saturday morning, I'll rather skip the sleep and go breakfast with her and grandma.

My beloved mother; the woman I hold in my highest esteem, my role model, the most self-sacrificing person I've ever known, the most perfect woman in my world.

Happy birthday, Mum!

WHO IS ATTACHED?

2005-10-17T16:24:00.000+08:00

Some interesting facts from It's just lunch:

79% of men take 15 minutes on the first date to determine if they want to see the girl again. 64% of women take 60 minutes to determine.
71% of women prefer not to date someone within the same profession.
76% of men believe that a relationship is more important than career.
$210 is the average amount men spend on dates per month.
There is a 17% chance of liking a date set up by a friend.
1 in 8 chances that a first date will call you for a second date after 24 hours have passed.
Guys should pay for everything if they initiated the date.

Anyway, my best guy friend/ "underground boyfriend"/ travel partner is finally attached after two years. Be gone, all rumours and suspicions!

HIGHLIGHTS OF BANGKOK

2005-09-30T23:51:00.000+08:00

Naz was mistaken as a Thai very often, as a Pakistani by a cabby and as a SOUTH AFRICAN by a Japanese.
Patpong sucks. The Tiger/ Thai Girl show was a total scam, a total disappointment.
We only saw an ugly and fat dancer (who can't dance) extracting a string of fake flowers from her pussy. We were charged 100baht (S$4) for that, then 700baht for 2 cans of coke, and 200baht was snatched by the trannies and female hostesses in bikinis! And, Naz was touched and offered a blow job by one of the trannies!
Faboulous roadside stall food. Supper on Thurs night was the best supper I've ever had!
A&W, very cheap Mac's and KFC!
Suan Lam beer garden serves good & cheeeeaaaappp drinks.
We both got darker! Poor Naz.
Countless of "Are u guys married?" question from the locals.
The lighter vendor who moaned repeatedly while showing us the moaning lighters he sells.
The pedestrains and traffic is mad; traffic lights are not of good use, everyone moves on red light!
We walked so much, Naz's right knee busted on him. Then his left knee got kissed by a car while crossing the road. Ouch.

Shopping in Siam
Khao San Rd is the best thing in Bangkok!
Siam Square is worth a go.
The tricky tuktuk drivers with their gasoline sponsors.

In the tuktuk
Temple of the Dawn (the landmark of Bangkok, we were told) is really quite nice.

Ferry to the Temple of Dawn
Floating market at Ratchaburi wasn't as exciting or nice as I thought but nevertheless, it was a good experience (we were so determined to go there!)

On the loop-sided boat (towards Naz's side) to the floating market

MUM'S MONKEY

2005-09-22T14:00:00.000+08:00

This cute monkey wears my necklace and my sunglasses.

The same monkey has its hair brushed up with my sunglasses.

"It's like you. That's what you always do what,' says my beloved mummy, "so I took this picture and put it as your photo id in my handphone."

My dear mum almost made me died laughing in disbelief. This is the same monkey that costs my mum 70 bucks just cause it looks sad.

THE NEXT PHASE

2005-09-13T22:35:00.000+08:00

I only found out about the confinement 8 hours before it was scheduled.
Just hours before, I was convinced about the deteoriation and so it somehow reduced the "guilt".

Although the mutual indulgence in individual fun had been blatant and consistent, surprisingly, I felt an enormous sense of loss then.

How will things proceed on this side?

AN AFTERNOON CHAT WITH MY BEST FRIEND

2005-09-06T16:18:00.000+08:00

s h a r o n. says:
u like kiwi?
Get busy. says:
yes
Get busy. says:
u scoop or slice it?
s h a r o n. says:
scoop
s h a r o n. says:
like how we were 'taught' in pri sch
s h a r o n. says:
haha
Get busy. says:
but i like eat it sliced
s h a r o n. says:
oh.. i dunno how to do that so i chose the easiest way out
Get busy. says:
how can u not noe?
Get busy. says:
just peel it den slice lor
s h a r o n. says:
i dunno how to remove the skin
s h a r o n. says:
i dun even skin my apples
s h a r o n. says:
i duno how to remove the core too
s h a r o n. says:
haha
Get busy. says:
i cut
Get busy. says:
huh i eat the core ley'
Get busy. says:
its so soft
s h a r o n. says:
got seed la!
s h a r o n. says:
& those stupid stuff that cant be swallowed!
Get busy. says:
huhhh
Get busy. says:
i normally cut half, den use spoon scoop untill super clean ley
Get busy. says:
and i swallow the rest
s h a r o n. says:
anyway i dont quite like apples
s h a r o n. says:
depends on my mood.
s h a r o n. says:
scoop?!
Get busy. says:
why are u talking about apple??????
s h a r o n. says:
FUCK U MAN JOANNE
Get busy. says:
ahahhahahahahahahhahaha
.
.
.
.
s h a r o n. joanne eats the core of apples and scoops its flesh with a spoon! says:
i was thinking how u SCOOP APPLES!!!!
Sharon removes kiwi seeds before eating them. says:
hahahahahahahha and i was thinking why u have to remove kiwi seeds!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sharon removes kiwi seeds before eating them. says:
that was when i was truly amazed by the way u "eat kiwi"
s h a r o n. joanne eats the core of apples! says:
how to remove?>!?!?!?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sharon removes kiwi seeds before eating them. says:
i was thinking y u so patient
s h a r o n. joanne eats the core of apples then scoops its flesh with a spoon! says:
its really hilarious man
s h a r o n. joanne eats the core of apples then scoops its flesh with a spoon! says:
e learning of each other's [odd]habit & the discovery of e truth!

my dear best friend, i love you, i love you, i love you for making my day!

CHEATING ON YOUR BEAU

2005-08-31T19:30:00.000+08:00

I have always frowned upon cheating.

I know of enough girls who, when they are attached/ married, look for partners outside the relationships. Sometimes, its just for the sex (one night stands or regular), sometimes its the attraction for the other party.

Whichever the reason(s), they are usually unwilling to let go of their boyfriends because the other party is just a fling.

I got this off the Internet, "Cheating Husbands - Cheating Wives" by Ruth Houston.

Listed below are the most common reasons people used to justify their extramarital affairs:

Why Men Cheat (all relate to sex)
The most frequently cited reasons for infidelity among men include
• more sex (the desire for a more active sex life)
• sexual variety (a desire for different kinds of sex)
• opportunistic sex (taking advantage of an opportunity to have sex without the fear of getting caught)
• to satisfy sexual curiosity (about a specific female)
• a feeling of entitlement (the belief that it’s a man’s prerogative to cheat)
• the “thrill of the chase”
• the desire to feel important or special
• sexual addiction

Why Women Cheat (all relate to unmet emotional needs or a desire for attention)
The reasons most frequently cited for female infidelity include
• a desire for emotional closeness and intimacy (someone caring to confide in and bond with on an emotional level)
• a desire for attention (wanting be the center of a man’s attention again)
• to reaffirm her desirability (To feel validated as a woman)
• to re-experience feelings of romance
• a desire to feel “special”
• boredom
• loneliness
• sexual excitement

Men Cheat for Sexual Reasons, Women Cheat for Emotional Reasons
Granted, these are not the only reasons men and women cheat. There are other reasons as well. But the bottom line is that men are cheating on their wives primarily for sexual reasons, while women are cheating on their husbands mainly for emotional reasons. These are the reasons most frequently given by cheating husbands and cheating wives who are willing to discuss their extramarital affairs.
Numerous studies on infidelity bear that out.

In one study, 75% - 80% of the men who admitted to having extramarital affairs said that sex was the primary reason. Only 20% of the women who were having extramarital affairs said they did so for purely sexual reasons.

Interesting.

THE REASON BEHIND MY DISINTEREST

2005-08-30T17:15:00.000+08:00

For an extended period, ever since the realisation of my constant disinterest in anyone new, I've been trying to find the reason why. Zac is the last (new) person I've liked.

Michelle suspects that there is something holding me back, perhaps the break up. I dont wish to see a repetition of another regretful and depressing break up.

I guess she is right.

I'm glad this is over for a while now.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GIRLS!

2005-08-27T18:42:00.000+08:00

It was finally a complete clique meet up. Complete only during dinner though.

The birthday girls, Michelle & Wen.

My virgin KBOX experience with the girls was good. 6 people paying the price for 5 was definitely worth it.

As usual, Wen was the butt of our jokes. Her courageous first note was laughed at relentlessly.

Inline with the song....... Wu ding.

Snacks we "smuggled" in.

As expected, by the end of the night, it was only left with half of us; 4 to be precise.
However Fang & Wen's enthusiasm never dies.

After enduring 4 half hours of our dear thick-skinned-think-she-is-a-star-who-is-holding-her-concert Wen's singing (she insisted not to use analogue), we were told to complete our last song at 4am (we thought it closes at 6am).

Wen insists that "we'll only leave after the staff calls us the second time & we'll just pretend that she didn't call us earlier." This, despite seeing several people leaving gradually. She was finally willing to leave after a couple of staffs began peering into the room through our closed door. We were the last ones to leave with the aircon off and only half a shutter left opened. Embarrassing.

Nevertheless, it was fun fun fun!

Happy 20th girls!

LOST GOOD THINGS

2005-08-20T20:04:00.000+08:00

The week has been pretty bad, albeit it's the most relaxed I've ever felt in a long while.

With previous excitement surprisingly failing to sustain adequate interest and with the current situation deteriorating, a distraction is the way to go. The best distraction is somewhat similar to the former(s), yet somehow, distractions can never fulfill sufficiently.

The complications just went up another level and I can't figure it out.

MY 20th

2005-08-09T01:59:00.000+08:00

Friday: Drinks with the girls at Europa.
As usual, no full attendance but anyway, finger games with very-slow-joanne-&-a-little-better-kendra was hilarious. (I'll make sure heavier punishments are used in future! Michelle & Wen, come 26th!)

Saturday: Dinner, drinks and supper.
In contrast to the shop's layout, Nexus Gourmet at Telok Ayer serves surprisingly niceee food. That roast duck & mango salad.
Villa Bali at Gillman Village is preeeettyyyy! The nature feel with wooden furnitures, cheap cakes and seemingly splendid menu.

The supper was a pleaaasant surprise. And the late-night phonecalls too.

Sunday: Dinner with family.
Good, but with plenty of wasted food.

Trusted cake from Emicakes. This looks ugly but tasted great.

Mon: Lunch at school.
The surprise mini cake and that brown bag!
Thanks guys!

THE THINGS PEOPLE DO WHEN THEY'RE DESPERATE

2005-07-30T16:46:00.000+08:00

The chalet last night/ this morning was good.

The tonnes of bbq food (with the unique inclusion of lady's finger, brinjal & tau pok) followed by mango pudding (courtesy of isk's mum) and faaaabbbbuuloooouusss chocolate fondue (with bananas, apples, strawberries, longans and toasted bread).

Amateur mahjong (with plenty of translation) with 2-half Malays from 11pm to 5am straight, with a variety of Lay's chips and frequent Hokkien vulgarities spouted by our dear Naz who lost every single round, was entertaining.

The biggest surprise of the night: Farena appeared! at 2.20am.

By 5.30am, everyone, except Far & I, was asleep. Refusing to hit the sheets or make do with the incredibly boring "Days of our lives", we had chocolates by the swing but soon decided Pasir Ris Park would be a better bet to kill time.

The park was hell entertaining.

We climbed the spiderweb-look-alike in excitement for the loonng slide, only to realise we cant slide down (because the slide is not slippery enough) and a stupid toad had to freeze me by jumping around in front of me.

When we saw this "satellite dish", Far, being the eager person she is, jumped to the highest point, causing a non-stop rotation. The dish spun more with our hard laughters and especially Far's almost-screaming-and-crying notion.

More adventures and we reached the chalet (the beach entrance) to find that the doors were all locked. The main entrance is too far and so came the finale/ the highlight/ the mad fun: Far suggested climbing over the tall wire barriers!

And so, we did.
To make things worse, my jacket and slippers kept getting hooked by the wires and we had to flee from the unwanted attention we made from the noise. This was at 7am. (Dear, I discovered a scratch on my inner thigh!)

Back at the chalet, we searched for breakfast like scavenges. And it was time to leave the sleeping friends behind.

Our tired but happy faces.

The drive back was disastreous as fatique set in. I thank God the constant changing of gears and clutch kept me awake.

I believe Far and I left the chalet happier than the rest.

QUIZ

2005-07-12T17:45:00.000+08:00

It's been a good week with plenty of late nights- parties, drinks and projects.
I'm almost done with the UCCD & CRM projects. An early night tonight, finally.

It's time to slack, for a while.
Adapted this from Sock's blog.

LAYER ONE: ON THE OUTSIDE
Name: Sharon
Birth date: 7 aug (pls note that its coming soon!)
Birth place: Singapore
Current Location: home/ Novena/ Singapore
Eye Color: Dark brown
Hair Color: dark brown-black
Righty or Lefty: right
Zodiac: Leo

LAYER TWO: ON THE INSIDE
Your heritage: Dad's peranakan, Mum's chinese
Shoes you wore today: white slippers
Your weakness: too prideful
Your perfect pizza: the ones i bake :p

LAYER THREE: YESTERDAY, TODAY, TOMORROW
Your most overused phrase on MSN: "hmmm.."
Your thoughts first waking up: "what time is it now?"
Your best physical feature: i dont see any
Your bedtime: depends.
Your most missed memories: the ex

LAYER FOUR: YOUR PICK
Pepsi or Coke: none
McDonald's or Hungry Jacks: i dunno the latter
Single or group dates: Single
Adidas or Nike: Adidas
Lipton Tea or Nestea: Lipton
Chocolate or vanilla: vanilla
Cappuccino or coffee: im caffiene-intolerant

LAYER FIVE: DO YOU..
Smoke: no
Take showers: yes
Have a crush(es): no
Think you've been in love: yes
Like(d) high school: yes, for the friends
Want to get married: yes,but anytime yet
Get motion sickness: hardly
Get along with your parents: yes

LAYER SIX: IN THE PAST MONTH
Drank alcohol: yes; often
Gone to the mall: yes
Eaten an entire box of Oreos: i dislike oreos
Eaten sushi: yes
Dyed your hair: no

LAYER SEVEN: HAVE YOU EVER
Gone skating: yes
Gone skinny dipping: no
Stolen anything: yes
Played a game that required removal of clothing: no
Got beaten up: no
Changed who you were to fit in: no

LAYER EIGHT: GETTING OLDER
Age you hoping to get married: not now
Children - when to have children or how many? two after 26
How do you want to die: definitely not by drowning or suffocation
What country would you most like to visit: at this moment, the indochina countries.

LAYER NINE: IN A PARTNER
Best eye color?: brown. asian pls.
Best hair?: short/spikey
Height: not too tall..
Personality: adequately senstive, honest, serious. and the list goes on.

LAYER TEN: IN THE NUMBERS
Number of piercings: 13 still exist
Number of tattoos: None
Number of times my name has appeared in the Newspaper: Never
Number of scars on my body: Countless
Number of things in my past that I regret: a couple

TEN MONTHS ON

2005-07-06T00:10:00.000+08:00

The subject was broached.

With no right words and questions, nothing was fulfilled or answered. The unconceptualised questions are still unfigured but I'm glad that the talk was initiated.

It was fortunate that things were already on the low then.

THEORY OF BOUNCING BALLS

2005-06-24T00:45:00.000+08:00

I got this from a HK drama serial,
"A bouncing ball; you throw it hard, it comes back to you hard."

"The ball will come back 2 times harder," I was told by Junwei.

Ouch.

I can't believe it didn't occur to me. "Science."

Isn't it true sometimes?
The more we want the issue/ person out, the harder it seems.
The issue with negative impact. The person significant enough to bring your emotions on a roller coaster ride.

And sometimes, the realisation hits us back real fast, real hard, real bad,
with the thoughts running back more vividly.

THE POWER OF AN INITIATIVE

2005-06-17T10:45:00.000+08:00

Some sources delight me more than I ever expected.

Perhaps I've been expecting(and disappointed) too much and too often from a particular source that when another source, the antidote, does an unexpected, if I may say, 'strategy', the surprise seems greater, more powerful;
And the happiness lingers on and on, till it may become detrimental.

Or perhaps, it just depends on the source.

Anyway, the discovered 'strategy' thrills me.
Right, Naz dear?

I'M GONNA DO THE SILENT WAY

2005-06-09T17:25:00.000+08:00

I hate to admit;
Recently whenever those treatments happen, I tend to daydream the impossible, reminsce, avoid/seek refuge, or simply switch to the self-denial mode.

Albeit my awareness of the problem manifestation. Indeed, it has; and had gone worse. The problem was long realised, but the courage to move on diminishes quickly.

Somehow, I suspect that I was just oblivious for that long while. The (wasted) efforts to implement improvements have tire me out totally. Checking the archives, I know PMS is actually not accountable.

I daydream about turning back time (one year ago would be good).
I daydream about earlier realisation of the pride issue, and the earlier change.
I can imagine more appreciation, less demeans.

I don't understand the treatment.. even after all these months.

I know what distraction is the best antidote.

SCARY METALS IN THE KNEE

2005-06-04T23:55:00.000+08:00

A series of accidents due to Desmond's heck care attitude towards his reconstructed ACL led to a second reconstruction. This time, hemstring from his left knee has to be used to replace the torn-again-before-healing ACL in the right knee.

The metal staplers that held his right ACL together.

These were replaced by a set of screws.
Imagine how those look. Eeeeew.

HOLIDAY OVERVIEW

2005-05-29T22:24:00.000+08:00

The past 5 weeks have been fruitful.

Apart from "working" (a little) and getting some appreciative hang-outs, there were new experiences of various sorts.

A good number of drinking sessions with some games learnt
Parties with different themes and locations
Discovery of new hang-out locations
An unfortunate traffic accident
Test drives, car views
Wonderful overseas memories, although I wished the other trip(s) materialised
An exciting "police chase" which caused 9 points and $170
Attempt to prepare dinner in granny's absence
Reminiscing primary school days with monopoly and scrabble
Successful baking, unsuccessful baking
A movie session and some shopping sessions that I miss having

I gladly say my time is wisely spent this holidays.

Tommorow marks the new and final poly academic year, when every schooling member in my family starts their holidays.

The semester begins with the best timetable ever with no examinations but it means projects up to our necks. And, internship begins at the end of the year.

BINTAN TRIP

2005-05-19T01:41:00.000+08:00

16th & 17th May 2005

Nirwana Garden, the scenic resort.

Lazing in the room.

The huge rock ideal for poses.

The sun so bright, we can barely open our eyes.

Drinking in comfort after the massage at Mayang Sari.

Nirwana Resort, where we did our creme bath.

The beautiful evening sun (over home).

At least something done this holidays.

THE ENGAGEMENT PARTY

2005-05-08T16:07:00.000+08:00

The engagement cum birthday poolside party at home almost only became the aunt-to-be's birthday party.

For days, my family were worried that my uncontactable aunt-to-be would not appear for the all-prepared engagement dinner last night. A fight in their drunkard stupor (which I witnessed) just 3 days before their big day caused her threatening to call the engagement off; she remained unconvinced until yesterday afternoon.

Balloons everywhere.

From the top.

From the other side.

Receptionists at work (and drinks).

The gifts at the reception table.

Champagne roses.

Pink roses.

The cake.

The couple.

Desmond & I.

Cute Danielle.

Grandaunt & granduncle dancing.

The romantic music & ambience, the hundreds of white balloons, the hundredsss of roses, plenty of confetti, white-satin-covered furnitures and an extra house dedicated for through-the-night drinking & games;
the 3-tier icing cake, dozens & dozens of alcohol and trays of sumptuous food;
the hundred well-dressed guests and their generous gifts & flowers made the engagement house(s) party memorable.

The number of intoxicated drivers leaving my place last night was amazing.
Aaanndddd, strawberry wine is the next best after ice wine.

I'M GETTING A WAY OUT

2005-05-03T01:15:00.000+08:00

Initially, the problem manifested because of your continued absurd nonchalance and shuffled priority.
I decided out, to avoid being beaten by further continuity.

Then, suddenly, the road seems smooth.
But I've learned: Never pass the verdict so soon.

I'll be patient; I'll expect.

FUCK THE EPISODE

2005-04-23T19:57:00.000+08:00

Your countless broken promises in the most absurd nonchalance, and
your denial in the most ridiculous chauvinistic tone;
They have been making me upset for a long while.

Your accusations with bullshit-explanations, and
vague examples in an absolutely unnecessary raised voice.
They made the episode worse.

All these, consecutively happened so abruptly, created an illusion of an unsmooth path; an illusion that unforgettable anger is responsible for.

*

Then, your continued obvious nonchalance in the most disappointing manner, and
your actions in the most hurtful way.

Before the end of the day, the illusion materialised. And I realised, this ending is actually what prolonged hurting silence is responsible for.

PMS AND EMOTIONS

2005-04-21T23:45:00.000+08:00

I hate PMS.

It makes my emotions go on a rollercoaster ride.
It makes my thoughts run wild; too much, too far, too negatively.

It makes me want things desperately and
it makes me obnoxious.

It makes me laugh then want to cry almost consecutively.

I hate PMS.

EMOTIONS AT RAGE

2005-04-15T15:10:00.000+08:00

My delights and anger, my thoughts and priorites during the last several months were quite inexplicably joyful.

But I wish I would be pleasantly suprised some times; not with tangible things or any appreciated effort to colour my dull life. I just wish for selfless acts that would not cancel my anticipated plans at the very last minute.

When it happens (again) for the umpteenth time, it just kills the surprise that might have been planned.

You're almost here, but I know that is not enough.

SOMETIMES, PRIDE GETS IN THE WAY OF THINGS

2005-04-08T21:00:00.000+08:00

Pride:
A sense of one's own proper dignity or value; self-respect.
An excessively high opinion of oneself; conceit.

The former is a good aspect of anyone; everyone should have them. The latter isn’t quite a beneficial aspect. Excessive is the word; it has the ability to make one to lose what she has, it has the ability to make one feel good (even though she might have done something unkind), it has the ability to make one feel lost and regretful.

Being too prideful pertaining to relationships is really the worst kind of experience anyone can have.

During our discussion about the above statement, I told Mr A,
"Pride level varies and differs.
Some of my friends are prideful in the way that they must win in arguments; some will say sorry and will give in.
I don’t have to win arguments, as long as the other party is reasonable but I find it damn hard to give in.

My pride hurts myself sometimes."

He replied,
"Yeah, I will say sorry. For me, I like to be the first.. don’t like being in 2nd place.
Agree. Sometimes I think my pride has got me in a lot of shit.

I can't fully express myself.. even though I really want to.
Miss B comes online everyday but...I just cant bring myself to talk to her.
I think things would have been different.... if I had said things or if I had done things a different way.

Sigh... Sharon.. I'm worried I can't get over this "thing". It's not love/like, I know for sure. It's jus a little bugger.. that's tugging my emotional cord. And it wont leave me alone. "

"You know, you would realise that in fact, you don't like her that much, but just cos it didn’t end well/proper, you can’t forget her.
I was thinking would it be easier to forget the whole shit if you're already out of contact with her. Or would it be worse? All I know is, it is a horrible feeling when you're in contact with the person yet too prideful to talk to her."

*

Friends around me seem to be getting into this improper closure shit, whilst I'm thankfully finding myself stepping out of this, albeit subtly and unpredictably.
To Miss XX, I hope things between you and him would turn out fine before it gets bad.

I recognize that my (over)pride had proven detrimental to my being; I’m proud to say I have been gradually putting down my pride for important things and people.

I like my conversation with Mr A today. He mirrored many things that I’ve been keeping silent for a long time about; things that had always made me think I was abnormal.

IT'S BURNING FOR ME TO SAY THIS; IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME COMING.

2005-03-14T17:25:00.000+08:00

The "Island of Fun" was hot, we couldnt get proper food and drinks, and the crowd was depleting by 1pm. Thank God the sea lured us in to burn ourselves while floating, talking and playing some ball games. Proper ball games.

The talking we did in the sea (in particular xin, naz & I) was nice.
The topic: relationships, again.

We talked about relationships at different phases of life. We vividly remember how when we were younger, the guys would ask girls, "Would you be my girlfriend?" (Or worse, "stead".)
At the phase we are at now, most relationships begin naturally. It is, somehow, the next step after discovering the mutual liking. We seldom hear that defining question anymore. Thus, the existance of relationships with "Don't exactly know when it started" & "Yeah, he is my boyfriend. Well, sort of."

Most people still regard such relationships abrupt and improper. After been through it and then hated it, im once again convinced by it. I know that I'm at that phase where I'll experience this (again and again, perhaps).

"Flings" have a negative connotation. To those who are worried about your other party "with flings history", I suggest you step into the relationship without throwing in too much first. This is my way of protection. As xin said, who knows what can change ultimately? Perhaps the girl/guy might get serious.

I've been there.
My two treasured relationships started with hesitation after hearing their "bad history", but no, I did not get hurt by them ultimately. I have never regretted the relationships. The fact is, the only regret I have for the shorter relationship is, how short it was due to a certain rashness.

Xin had to say, "Like that, you'll never stop thinking about him."
I know, i know. I know it too well.
Its ironic that how after many months, I still think about him.
Like what Desmond once told me, "I think about Jasmine but not in that sense anymore."
Same case.

The three of us discussed the reason.
The break-up was rash, now i admit. The talk made me said that if i had thought positively about the relationship and if I had been more patient and reasonable to ask him what he had been doing for the last two days that we had not contact, all this before I sent that message to him, things might not turn out this way so quickly.
The chalet I went to a couple of days later, with a flat battery, gave me much time to think. But it was already after the break-up.
This is one thing I can never let go of totally. Naz has convinced me that the break-up was an improper closure, on my part. That is the most apt answer.

Now i believe that time away is ideal for one to think hard. Think about the possibilities, think about the consequences. And then, have a good talk to the other party to be able to evaluate proper about what you have been thinking about.

Extracted from one of xin's recent entries: I despise myself for letting you do this to me, for allowing this nothingness the tenacity to crawl under my skin and steal my heart away. I could be so happy without you, so much happier without you; if I didn't always wonder if I would be the happiest with you.

My comment?
"..i like the first sentence especially. the second sentence sounds sad that i dont wanna think if it applies to me."

Reading it now, I know it doesn't quite apply to me because I know who gave and will continue to give me the happiest moments. Change "happiest" to "happy", then it will fit.

From long ago, I knew the main reason my thoughts wander to him is because I think about the relationship and in particular, the break-up; it leads to him.

I finally have the right words and guts to write these down. Somehow, a part of me am hoping you will read and understand this.

BLOOD-SUGAR

2005-03-12T12:10:00.000+08:00

Nutrition expert and founder of the Institute of Optimum Nutition, Mr Patrick Holford said,
"If you don't eat for six hours, and then stuff yourself, you'll suffer from poor concentration, low energy and hunger cravings when your blood sugar is low.
Then you experience a massive increase in blood sugar from overeating, and have a blood-sugar high as the excess glucose in your blood stream is converted to fat.
Sometimes low blood sugar is translated into our minds into a craving for sweet things. We are not always aware of the signals meaning blood sugar is low."

i never knew unbalanced blood sugar causes so many effects. no wonder i'm always tired.
i'm so gonna change my eating habits: lighter breakfasts, so i can take lunch.

FOREVER FAITHFUL

2005-03-06T16:33:00.000+08:00

"Some things in life, i'll never understand
But i have this assurance that my life is in Your hands."

how apt. i need to hear this song more often.

NONCHALANCE

2005-03-04T00:05:00.000+08:00

as my fatigue was going up another level, i had to express my irritation with certain people and their nonchalance.

the reply i got from him: "actually, being nonchalant is bad but choosing easy & favourable moments to be gungho is worse."

to reinforce both our thinkings: being nonchalant, yet still think that you've contributed enough (or more than enough) is the worst.

LOVE IS IN THE AIR

2005-03-01T00:04:00.000+08:00

couples are getting back together,
sparks are rekindling,
scandals heard from long ago become apparant again.

it all goes one round and comes back to where it ended, nicely.

6 MONTHS

2005-02-16T23:12:00.000+08:00

the impression of you stays, albeit your image get vaguer with each passing day.

days. weeks. months.. it's been almost 6 months now.

GOSSIPS

2005-02-13T23:25:00.000+08:00

Gossip: Rumor or talk of a personal, sensational, or intimate nature.

as a stereotype, girls gossip and guys do not.

between girls, topics are usually criticisms/envious talks about another girls' assets or looks, or raving about guys.
but mostly, topics are harmless. like, who-is-seeing-who and what-this-other-girl-is/was-up-to.

and though guys usually say they do not gossip, from what i've heard enough, they gossip about their (wonderful)ability in bed and others' inability, girls' assets and their ability in bed.
mostly, ego-istic and sexual topics.

correct me; it is interesting to know.

this continual discreet yet in denial gossiping is less innocent, if you ask me.

yes, some girls talk about their guys' sexuality too but though the topics are along the same line, somehow the girls are generally less offensive. perhaps cos we are generally less vulgar in their words, in this aspect especially; explicit details are left out, leaving plenty for individual's imagination.

at times, gossips kill.

that piece of gossip is arousing my curiousity.

AN APPRECIATION SHOUT-OUT

2005-02-13T13:24:00.000+08:00

im comforted by the well-wishes by my friends, upon reading my recent entries or my nick on msn.

but i'm alright, really. i'm not upset or saddened or going through any states of depressions.
i guess i just have a slight preference for pessimism (over optimism) in what i read and type.

for one, yes, there was this longing to see him. there were blog entries and nicks about him. there were walks down memory lane; i thought about him a fair bit. and there was some over-sensitivity at work.
but it ends there, when i know i shouldn't hold on to what im perceived to have regretted.

for the other one, yes, there were constant talks about him. there was a fear of losing what i have (or don't have).
but things between us are just a tad complicated; its neither a we-have-no-choice nor a sad arrangment. we chose this, and are fine with how things are currently.

so i'm alright, really.

BOREDOM KICKS IN

2005-02-07T16:07:00.001+08:00

i miss the bikes. i miss the cars. i miss roundings.
i miss suppers.
i miss the night breeze.
i miss facing the waters.
i miss quietness on streets.
i miss wearing caps, jackets, shorts and slippers together.
i miss hanging out til the yawns.

i miss doing these things in the wee hours of the nights.

yet, i'm just too unobliging, full of excuses, choosy and lazy.

RELATIONSHIPS

2005-02-05T01:00:00.000+08:00

is a relationship that is peaceful and fun-loving, or one that is fraught with quarrels and disagreements better?
the former being a stable relationship, the former a strong one, i believe at first thought, most of us somehow wish for a peaceful relationship over a quarrelsome one.

the truth is, the rough relationship may actually be better.
why? because quarrels and disagreements give the partners a chance to go through obstacles together, and this does foster understanding and thus, bonding. it is only through these that enable them to handle possible future bigger crisis together.

however, whether or not the relationship is strong enough in the first place to last through any of those obstacles is another story.

this, i believe, any one who has experience in a relationship already knows.
but how many of us, when faced with such situations, give up almost immediately and secretly wish for the simpler relationship- the one that is peaceful?

a really simple analogy but i like it because of its realisticity.

this topic was in relation to media law tutorial today.
Ms Peters wondered if Singapore can survive crisis since we're currently well-protected because of our half-controlled press.

her relationship analogy made me think about two particular relationships i had.

one was sticky which means much time for each other and inevitably, a fair share of disagreements; the other was the complete opposite.

i was closer to the ex who went through shit with me, my feelings for him were stronger, i was far too comfortable with the same him, and those feelings lasted a lot longer.

we remained close after the break-up, and we're still close now.. the opposite from the other guy.

so, somehow, i do prefer disarrayed relationships.

"Reminiscing adds to our grief."

2005-02-02T01:20:00.000+08:00

i think the phrase is very accurate.

maybe a couple of months back, i could relate to it only too well.
these days, reminscing no longer adds grief.
after all, there ain't really much for me to feel sad about anymore.

to me, reminiscing has always been related to negativity, and memories seemed to relate more to positivity.
i learnt that xin's opinions of the two words are directly opposite.

it's interesting how people view things so very differently.

Sayin' how we feel is no longer allowed

2005-01-28T17:50:00.000+08:00

i know i am over u.
still, i liked seeing u.

occasional chats made me smile,
as i recall how we used to be.

memories flowed back continually.
but i didn't pine for you that way.
i knew things are not the same anymore.

when the topic of you was broached by your friends,
i thought the avoidance of the topic was necessary.

nothing was said, nothing could possibly be assumed.
yet, i was.. avoided, somehow.

perhaps they were pure coincidences.
perhaps perhaps perhaps.

perhaps sensitivity got the better of me,
but i'm left puzzled by your actions.

*

We don't even talk anymore
And we don't even know what we argue about
Don't even say I love you no more
Cause sayin' how we feel is no longer allowed
(Boyz 2 Men - Water runs dry)

Nobody Knows

2005-01-25T23:38:00.000+08:00

Directed by Kore-eda Hirokazu

Yagira Yuya as Akira

the movie was considerably slow moving for my usual likes but it was able to retain my attention for the full 140mins.
it was extremely heart-tugging.

despite his single-eye-lid eyes, i was very swooned over by this young actor (Yagira Yuya). not cos his looks, honestly. what really struck to me instantly was the selflessness of Akira, and his awesome display of brotherly love.

selflessness; how often can we see that?

the movie puts me in Akira's position, lets me feel for the siblings and left me not knowing what and how to comment.

i commend then-13 year old Yagira for his excellent performance in his debut movie. it was a worthy Best Actor win in Cannes.

im not a slow-movie, nor a Japanese movie fan but i recommend this movie.

BACK TO BLACK

2005-01-24T01:15:00.000+08:00

i just can't resist going back to a black scheme for my template.

i simply love black. and simplicity.

CHRISTIANITY & SEX

2005-01-22T13:47:00.000+08:00

"While continence is still the general recommendation, some Christian churches believe it is best to leave the final decision on the degree of sexual involvement to the discretion of the individual believer."

Sex & Religion by Chritel MAnning & Phil Zuckerman

IN CELEBRATION FOR NAZ'S 20TH

2005-01-16T01:57:00.000+08:00

Singgah Selalu serves cheap, decent food.
for ten people, RM190 is cheaaaaap.

this is one of the best chocolate cakes i've ever tasted.
& it was bought from Malaysia. i applaud it; it was really damn good.

Farena's 'fascination' with Desmond.

"Where's Farena?" (adaptation from "Where's Wolly?")
no prizes for guessing whose terrific idea.

no one wants to look in the same direction as Naz.

on the way home.

notice the fading smiles in the pictures.

*

for the record: with MY camera, Farena was the one who took the most pictures. she is probably making up for missing plenty of our other sessions.

it was a good day at JB.

A CERTAIN FEAR

2005-01-15T01:02:00.000+08:00

i'm pretty happy with how things are going on in my life at this moment.
it's been 2 months since i've been less lonely.

come this thurs, the 20th, it may very well be the end of this refound old-happiness.

as much as i had previously sworn off this arrangement, i'm actually still undecided on what i really want, so i don't (or, cant) have issues about how things have been going.

come this thurs, the 20th, things may very well change as it marks the start of a certain confinement again.

a week before the 20th;
in all honesty, the fear of the possible end of this old-happiness that i have refound is surfacing.

what makes you happy

2005-01-07T21:59:00.000+08:00

>>>WHAT MAKES US HAPPY?

"It isn't what you have or who you are,
or what you are doing that makes you happy, or unhappy.
It is what you think about."

Dale Carregie

so, 2005 begins bad.

2005-01-02T01:15:00.000+08:00

so, 2005 begins bad.

'warehouse' was barren; phuture was over-crowded, and their music was bad.

at those times when i had almost anticipated for a certain person's presence, it didnt occur.
yet when it finally happened, at an unexpected timing, the need for avoidance surfaced. not once or twice but thrice. just the availability to see from afar had always been suffice for me.
it was anguishing to realise how awkward the meeting was, yet i didn't want to miss those captivating eyes.

*

when hollers begin in the morning, proceeding with the astonishment of some irresponsible pushing of blame, it totally pull moods down. And, when things are not getting better yet, the night had to end with being cursed at.

talk about the need to stay happy more this year.

the end of 2004

2004-12-31T01:53:00.000+08:00

2004 isn't a fantastic year for me.
i've been through many turns of events; good and bad. in fact, i would say it's a bit too much for me to swallow.

yes, i've also a plentiful of joys but i've also gotten, i believe, more disappointments this year.
i've been unhappy too much,
i've been moody too often;
i've been having too many 'if only', way too many.
i've been too prideful.

things i've learnt in 2004?

how things can happen is really astonishing. how quickly the things can happen is even more astonishing.

i've also learnt a little more of others, and little more of myself through the eyes of others.

i've never made new year resoltuions. i've always doubted my ability to accomplish them.
besides, i've seen too many people not being able to stick by their resolutions. so, what's the point?

but looking back on 2004, ill make my first resolution for the new year ever:
to stay happier longer, more often.

sounds easy.. quite easy.

Merry Christmas people!

2004-12-26T17:24:00.000+08:00

>>>MERRY CHRISTMAS PEOPLE!

i've found the fool-proof method to be clean amidst walking through the foam-spraying crowd during countdown parties.
walk beside a triad-looking person, or as long as the person looks pissed when he doesn't smile.

Desmond & i walked through Orchard Road twice before/during/after the crossover to Christmas, and we were clean when we got back to the car. very clean.

*

too much durians, fried food, chocolates and some wine; too little water and sleep.. and now i'm sick.

i feel hot, my head is thumping, my throat hurts, i can't breathe and nothing taste on my tongue.
it's only the second day of Christmas and ive less than a week for the party through the New Year.

dammit.

a 2nd opinion on a-year-plus relationship

2004-12-22T13:00:00.000+08:00

i used to think a year plus into a relationship is nothing worth exclaiming about;
now, it suddenly seems long and almost-unachievable (for me).

what an irony.

there were repetitive unsuccessful attempts at relationships.
however strongly they felt like things would work out, however much regrets i had, they just didn't work out.

i haven't liked anyone new for 3 months, and i can see it counting for a long while.

when feelings for someone you've been attached to for a long while rebound/remain, it just doesn't give as much excitement or novelty.

i miss the feeling of gushing over someone.
i miss waiting for that nick to appear online on msn.
i miss the anticipation for his message, or call.
i miss the anticipation of meeting him.
and, i totally miss the feeling of mutual liking,
especially the discovery of it.

3 months only; and i'm gasping.

i had almost forgotten how it feels not to like anyone at any point of time.

*

here i am gasping over my mundane(or the lack of) lovelife, rumours has it that i'm seeing my good friend. and looks like confirming that is really just a rumour is a bad idea; we're now suspected of being an underground item.

2004-12-16T18:32:00.000+08:00

安靜 周杰倫 (3lines edited)

只剩下鋼琴陪我談了一天
睡著的大提琴
安靜的舊舊的
我想你已表現的非常明白
我懂我也知道
你沒有捨不得
你說你也會難過我不相信
牽著你陪著我也只是曾經

你要我說多難堪
我根本不想分開
為什麼還要我用微笑來帶過
我沒有這種天份
不用擔心的太多
我會一直好好過
你已經遠遠離開
我也會慢慢走開
為什麼我連分開都遷就著你
我真的沒有天份

安靜的沒這麼快
我會學著放棄你
是因為我太愛你

the end of 5 weeks

2004-12-13T01:54:00.000+08:00

>>>THE END OF 5 WEEKS

just like that, it's the end of my holiday; school reopens tomorrow.
5 weeks reduced from 9 weeks, this is my shortest holiday through November & December.

this time round, there ain't much shopping, chilling/ slacking at cafes, roaming City Hall, Orchard Road & JB.

but, alright.. at least i've things to look back on this holiday.
the India visit (i emphasize: Taj Mahal is beautiful), my new place (i'm more or less settled in), plenty of stay-ins.
and, i'm (quite) satisfied to have one 'checked' on my place-to-visit checklist for this holidays.

still, i wished the holidays were longer.

how pathetic to have to spend Christmas Eve & New Year's Eve in school. first time ever.
to make things worse, the new timetable sucks.

2004-12-09T13:26:00.000+08:00

i totally love this:

At the end of the day, I don't think it is hard to believe;
That we went our separate ways even before we reached the end of the road.
(copyrights of Nazri)

it makes hell lot of sense to me.

2004-11-29T22:37:00.000+08:00

i've moved.
for the 4th night, i'll be sleeping in my new pink room.

to my surprise, i'm not missing the East yet.

i guess busy-ness is curbing the misses.
moving the boxes, unpacking the boxes, rearranging the stuff, finding space for the stuff.... i've broke my nails; i've gotten plenty of bruises.

i've been isolated for the past week- the mere thought of the long walk out to the main road is keeping me at home, albeit the convenience of going to town is tempting me out.
the only time i step out of my lane is during des' supper time.

des: thanks for abusing your poor knee to help us out!

a great experience holidaying in India

2004-11-23T01:46:00.000+08:00

>>>A GREAT EXPERIENCE HOLIDAYING IN INDIA

i'm back to civilisation(the one im used to).

no no no, India ain't smelly;
no, the hotels were not disgusting or smelly;
neither was Air India.
and no, i wasn't in full anticipation to come back home.

a week in india is truly an eye-opener.

i've grown more sympathetic;
how not to when they're beggars everywhere.

i've grown to hate food wastage, even more;
how not to when many Indians there starve daily.

i've grown to be more satisfied with little things;
how not to when i see hungry & dirty beggars smiling & waving at me happily.

i've grown to love my home;
how not to when the poor there live in slumps.

i've grown to appreciate my clean country;
how not to when litter & pee fills India.

i've grown to hate racism, even more;
how not to after all the time spent there.
how not to after all the heart-tuggings scenes.
how not to after the encounters with nice Indians.

*

the Taj Mahal is an awesome sight.

a great experience holidaying in India.

india, here we come!

2004-11-15T10:55:00.000+08:00

>>>INDIA, HERE WE COME!

after months of anticipation, we're finally off to india (delhi, japur & agra) tonight.. for a week.

i love the East

2004-11-11T15:33:00.000+08:00

>>>I LOVE THE EAST

as i boxed up my stuff this morning, i was overwhelmed with a great sense of sadness.

i was another step closer to move out of the East.
ive lived in the East side of Singapore all my 19 years, and suddenly, to move to Novena is a horrendous idea (to me).

ill most definitely miss cycling to East Coast Park- the cycling trips; riding from my place to the beach.
ill miss walking out to savour the great food here- the laksa, the rojak, the chicken rice, the porridge, the durian puff, the bak kut teh, the plentiful Peranakan restaurants.
ill miss walking Parkway Parade.
ill miss the ability to cycle with ease to Tanjong Rhu.
ill miss the daily rituals in the Indian temple and the singspiration from the Baptist church.
ill miss the convenience of taking buses from here- direct buses to almost anywhere.
ill miss my friends telling me they're lucky i live near them everytime they send me home.
ill miss, believe it or not, the long travelling distance to school.
for some weird reason, ill miss the daily travelling on the ECP.
i love the East.

yes, its not like i can't travel to the East.. and i should be glad for a nicer housing environment- a private pool, my relatives as my neighbours, being able to see my favourite car (the oh-so-so-awesome Ferrari 360 spider) everyday; a better location- central- much closer to town & school, and ive Newton Circus so near me.

granted, ive Macritchie reservoir in substitute(barely) for East Coast Park; Newton Circus can substitute(barely) the great food at East Coast Rd, Siglap and Laguana.

...but but but the East is just different. it's just inexplicable. honestly, i rather remain here. i simply love the East.

as Ms Kua said, "the easterners (of Singapore) are very proud of the East. i can't imagine moving out of the East- it's something only people who have stayed in the East will understand."

i totally agree with that.
totally totally totally.
totally totally totally.

sad; im so so sad to leave. this is the first time i'm not in anticipation for a new house.

suddenly it all seems like a blur

2004-11-09T02:23:00.000+08:00

>>>SUDDENLY IT ALL SEEMS LIKE A BLUR

i've never felt this lonely; even though i've company amidst the streams of human traffic.
i've never felt this sense of inferiority; even though i was just there alone.
i've never felt this sense of urgency; even though there is nothing i want to grab hold of quick.
i've never felt this fear of losing something; even though i do not even own it to begin with.

*

it is the fear that i may lose it all,
with regrets overwhelm;
then, things would never be again.

*

it used to be so apparent; and so i thought.
suddenly it all seems like a blur.

moments of contemplations

2004-11-03T17:04:00.000+08:00

>>>MOMENTS OF CONTEMPLATIONS

consumer behaviour- checked. mass media research- checked. e-commerce- checked.
3 papers down, 2 to go; legal system contracts and organisational management.

i'm in the midst of my exams and im feeling every bit as though i'm on my vacation.

the past week had been tedious, albeit fruitless- travelling to & fro school to try to study, falling asleep really early (the moment i read the notes) & waking up in the middle of the night in attempt to read the notes again.

i finally used the Internet today, after a solid one week of abstention- an amazing feat!

*

many a times, in retrospection, we fall in the state of psychedelic. we ponder: perhaps that something shdn't have gone this way; how would things have turned out if it had went that way instead; how would my life be now if that haven't happen; was i too rash? did i make the wrong move?; is there anything i can do about it now?

why. if only. it should have been. it shouldn't have been. how. what can i do now.

almost all of us secretly wish everything would turn out just the way we want.
and the way we want may not even be possible (anymore). this, despite, being surrounded by many other options and all of them are, hmm..not too bad or better.
put it this way, almost all of us are seldom satisfied with what we have, & we are always on the continual search.

i'm so guilty of this.

i prefer to call what has been flashing in my mind as memory recall, but as i totally hate to admit, it might also be called regrets (as naz puts it).

*

Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right

*

Don't know what to say
I never meant to feel this way

*

like a clown, I put on a show.

*

'nuff said for now.
back to LSC notes...

2004-10-21T15:01:00.000+08:00

how many times has my pride got in the way?

a tad too many.

friendships deteriorated, relationships spoilt, kins frustrated.
self-anguish but ego-fed.

and it didn't occur to me until zac brought it up.

*

today, my pride got in the way again.
yet, self-reflecting is detriment to my mood.

damn it.

i need help!

2004-10-20T13:13:00.000+08:00

>>>I NEED HELP!

Naz has been obsessed with the word sud. (style, in terms of attitude). If anyone hears him say he is so sud, please go with it. Make him happy.

Of late, Naz has been mean to me.

Anyway, can anyone teach me how to extend my attention span; I can't afford to fall aslp again & again everytime im doing work- exams are coming!

And also, i need help to be more gentle with my things.

*

i'm going for a creative mp3 player, despite everyone at simlim saying how lousy creative products actually are. enlighten me, anyone?

how does one function?

2004-10-15T22:20:00.000+08:00

>>>HOW DOES ONE FUNCTION?

its been yet another hectic week and it won't end today; deadlines won't be cleared until next fri.

one man's incompetency leads to another's frustration.
with two more same-group projects deadline to meet, i do not know how to handle.

and within less than a week thereafter, its the start of the exams. 5 papers all in a week.

young boys these days

2004-10-10T21:53:00.000+08:00

>>>YOUNG BOYS THESE DAYS

benjamin, my 4 year old cousin, is a potential buaya.

during dinner at granny's church last night, ben kept walking to and fro; his eyes fixed on the other table.. on the pretty young lady, i mean.

my bro had to say, 'im bringing you to see girls' for ben to follow him.

this morning in church, ben was exchanging glances with yet another young lady. he even want to the extent of unwrapping his sweet and feeding her.

and he ain't camera shy.

posing at my first request.

his suggestion to a pose.

young boys these days.

what on earth am i here for?

2004-10-08T23:57:00.000+08:00

>>>WHAT ON EARTH AM I HERE FOR?

tonight is the first (of 6) meeting of my church's 40 days embarkment of 'A Purpose Driven Life'.

i must admit my initial reluctance of putting my name down in this campaign.
why? i honestly dread such discussion groups, especially when it involves my spiritual self.

at the Yeo's house, i was looking out for Yeo's drinks, or at least things associated with the drink, but nah. quite disappointing.
(i do mean i was in the house of the founder of previously-known Yeo Hiap Seng drinks)

i had a scare when i got hold of my group's list.
one of the members was my secondary school principal, the other is a lecturer from my school of business (& knowin SB lecturers, they would make DMC students express their views) and the son of the host was my sunday school teacher- the class which i was really slacked in.

how awkward.

albeit i was my usual quiet-shy-& not-too-expressive-about-my-opinions self, the session was actually alright- enlightening with fresh opinions, leaving me with thoughts to ponder about.

i do aim to find out what on earth am i here for so i'm sure ill be going back there again. 5 more weeks of small group sessions and 35 days to go.

Rick Warren's THE PURPOSE DRIVEN LIFE
albeit the book may be written for everyone, every Christian should read it.

¬

today, i missed a hell of a damn good shot of a maserati, lambo & ferrari stopped side-by-side at a traffic light junction just in front of des' car.
i could have taken a satisfying still or video shot of those road-planes with my samsung (don't talk about the canon). OH, DAMMIT.

those rich bastards' were making a hell lot of noise with their near-a-million-dollar 2doors . but i like; nice. i bet they havent had the chance to shift to gear 3 before halting at the next traffic light.

im finally getting my samsung back tomorrow.
as much as i enjoyed using the fm stereo & message counter functions in my mum's nokia, 4 days is adequate for me to detest its lagging-ness and bad camera colour resolution.

my anticipation wasn't hidden through the phone conversation with the samsung customer service executive, who called to inform me my phone is ready for collection. she had to giggle at my excitement.

im finally getting my samsung back tomorrow.

my best friend

2004-10-05T01:16:00.000+08:00

>>>MY BEST FRIEND

03/10/2004
18:58:15
h u i l i a n g.
joe is who

h u i l i a n g.
oh oh oh ur best fren sorry

s h a r o n. 我只能永遠讀著對白
hahaha
nvm la
wait til u see her
nxt time u wont forget her name
hahaha

h u i l i a n g.
u shld say tt to her.

as eye-rolling that msg is, i told joe anyway.
& (GASP!), joe actually got it instantly. INSTANTLY.

after a good laugh, i decided to give my suspicions the benefit of doubt- that joe is NOT farena number 2, who is always laughing at the wrong stuff.

i confirmed with joe. she got it right. WOW. (sorry dear, i just have to do this :p)

yet when asked if she likes fried wanton, there was a really long pause.
why? cos she had to think what fried wanton is.

ah! my best friend.

infatuation delights people

2004-09-30T01:35:00.000+08:00

>>>INFATUATION DELIGHTS PEOPLE

thats a msn conversation between xin & i this evening.

i was raving about this cuuuuuuute junior of ours who, by the way, has a killer smile.
and the bloody beng she was raving about is singapore idol's finalist, Sylvester Sim (whom i also adore).

so as usual, this conversation went about with many long HAHAs and a lot of caps words- all illustating our infatuation.

Sylvester better go thru tonight's round of the Singapore Idol, i tell u. or the next raving session xin & i hold would be filled with grudging comments.

ok, yes i know we were insane.
bear with me, i havent been this infatuated for a while.

it's the mid-autumn festival

2004-09-28T23:25:00.000+08:00

IT'S THE MID-AUTUMN FESTIVAL

it is tradition to drink tea and eat mooncakes, while appreciating the larger-&-rounder-&-brighter-than-usual moon.
it is also the time of the year when kids play with lanterns; the traditional candle lanterns, cartooned candle lanterns and those battery operated ones.

drink tea..unchecked.
eat mooncakes..checked.
appreciating the moon..unchecked.
playing with lanterns..unchecked.

the news reported the moon tonight would be at its brightest at 2107h. unfortunately, as much as i tried, i couldnt capture a good or clear shot of it. not really my not-so-good camera's fault. the moon wasn't even big or bright.

i remember having a lot of fun playing with lanterns. not too long ago, at that; the last was two years back.

i was looking forward to snap shots of the traditional lanterns too. none of my cousins played with those. they only had those cartoon ones..battery-operated. and no, no one in my vicinity were playing with those traditional ones. my estate was exceptionately quiet tonight.

how damn sad.

so, i had to browse naz's blog to see the pictures he manged to take.
check it out: www.plain-sunset.blogspot.com
i love the first and last pictures.

there was no hype, excitement, atmosphere or mood in this year's mid-autumn festival.
how damn sad.

personal growth

2004-09-25T22:52:00.000+08:00

>>>PERSONAL GROWTH

the title cannot get more apt, can it?
ever since nicole used this phrase on why she isnt skipping CB lecture, even though everyone else was skipping, this phrase had been appear so often now & then. as teasers, of cos.

this evening, while my oh-so-wonderful mum handstitched the petticoat under my (current favourite) red skirt, my cousin grumbled that my auntie can't do such things- she has to seek her friend's mum help whenever she wants to alter any clothe.

man, havent my mum & i talked about how mothers should know how to sew for their kids?

i was fortunate; i escaped sewing any piece during home econs class.
i do not want my daugther to talk behind my back in this way in future, and so, i told myself i'm gonna learn sewing. no, not cross stitch. u know, using the sewing machine..to alter or to make additions to my clothes.

so i started with the loose buckle on my black skirt.
hand stitch, of cos. a step at a time la. i thought it was a good start, or so i hopeD.

i pulled the thread too hard, it snapped.
mummy doubted my ability and offered to help.
i refused to give up.

success.

mum finished stitching that part of my petticoat before i finished attaching that one third of the buckle back. nice, anyway.

mummy is a great seamstress. she made her own wedding gown; a very gorgeous, cheong sam cutting dress (how cool is that?). she made a couple of my skirts. she editted plenty of my clothes.

~

like a little kid, refusing to lend her precious teddy, mum took her beloved monkey back from my cousin, ho (why? "cos the arm was already coming off"), and carried it to the drawer.

i knew what was coming: the needles and thread.

so, today she even stitched an arm of a monkey.
mum expressed her regrets of not buying the bigger version of it.

she paid $69 for this, mind u. just cos , in her words, "it looks very sad."

thank goodness mummy won't get to read this entry. she refused to let me upload the first picture, "how can you publicise a picture of me in my specs so low!"

my mother has become lamer & lamer by the day. but i still love her. in fact, i love her very much.

~

next up: (get this huiliang) im gonna learn how to cook.

i'm in love with lin jun jie's jiang nan.